TURNING TRIALS INTO TRIUMPHS With Timothy Mabry

Howard Brown: 00:00:10

Hello, it's Howard Brown is the shine shining

Howard Brown: 00:00:12

brightly podcast show. Oh my god after Thanksgiving, we are

Howard Brown: 00:00:17

grateful. It's it's just amazing. I have an amazing guest

Howard Brown: 00:00:21

as usual. Tim, welcome to the show. How are you?

Timothy Mabry: 00:00:25

I'm doing fantastic, Howard. Thank you for

Timothy Mabry: 00:00:27

having me on this show.

Howard Brown: 00:00:29

Oh, it's it's great. You're, we're we're going

Howard Brown: 00:00:33

to, as you say you're wearing your T shirt for those listening

Howard Brown: 00:00:36

lead through fire. So, this is a episode called Turning trials

Howard Brown: 00:00:41

into triumphs. And let me let me tell you a little bit about

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about Tim. Tim Avery is a seasoned speaker, corporate

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leadership trainer with a unique blend of real world experience

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and actionable insights with over a decade in the fire

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service. By the way, thank you for your service as a first

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responder, you guys are real heroes. And really, it's just

Howard Brown: 00:01:03

amazing that the training and and that dedication. So in the

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fire service, you comment culminated as a lieutenant and

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you know what it takes to lead under pressure and and drive

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organisational excellence. You lead through the fire programme

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goes beyond superficial fixes. It takes a deep dive into the

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root cause of ineffective leadership to offer sustainable

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solutions and reduce turnover and elevate performance in the

Howard Brown: 00:01:30

corporate setting. A sought after keynote speaker Tim has

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graced the stages of major events like unicorn to 2023 in

Howard Brown: 00:01:38

Salt Lake and the million dollar Mingo. In Arizona. We talked

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about that. That was cool. He has been featured as an expert

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at two speaker school masterminds, one in Chicago, the

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other in New York. And you're sharing transforming leadership

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strategies with aspiring speakers and other corporate

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leaders. Your compelling topics and engaging delivery make you

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go to speaker for organisations, corporations, businesses that

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are serious about breakthrough to the next level of excellence.

Howard Brown: 00:02:04

Don't miss this opportunity to bring transform leadership to

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your organisation. Book, Tim today will put his contacts in

Howard Brown: 00:02:12

Oh, he'll talk about that at the end. And then you can also visit

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his website at • https://lead-fire.com/.

Howard Brown: 00:02:18

Welcome, welcome. Welcome. I'm excited to get into it. But

Howard Brown: 00:02:21

first, tell me about something we may not know about you that

Howard Brown: 00:02:26

you want to share with the listening and the viewing

Howard Brown: 00:02:28

audience.

Timothy Mabry: 00:02:30

Most definitely. So one unique thing about me is

Timothy Mabry: 00:02:33

I love being outdoors. It doesn't really matter what it

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what it looks like to be outside, whether it's hiking,

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camping, fishing, flying, I just like to be outside. And when I

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say flying, yes, I can fly a plane having my private pilot's

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licence. So the sky, the ground, below the water, whatever it is,

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I just like to be outside in nature. There's something to me,

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that healing and relaxing about just being outside and

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connecting back to our roots.

Howard Brown: 00:03:04

I love that I speak in my book about finding

Howard Brown: 00:03:07

your happy place. And I don't care if it's cooking,

Howard Brown: 00:03:10

meditation, art, music, outdoor nature hiking, it sounds like

Howard Brown: 00:03:14

you're happy places, the outdoors, mines, the basketball

Howard Brown: 00:03:17

court, you have to find that stress free zone go there as

Howard Brown: 00:03:20

much as you can. So I love that thank you for sharing as well.

Howard Brown: 00:03:23

But you had to overcome some a bunch of stuff here, Tim. So

Howard Brown: 00:03:27

let's dig dig right in. Tell me a little bit about your personal

Howard Brown: 00:03:30

crisis. And that how that led to your own leadership, your own

Howard Brown: 00:03:35

self development, your own transformation.

Timothy Mabry: 00:03:38

Most definitely to the person I am today that

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you see before you or your hearing is not the same person I

Timothy Mabry: 00:03:44

was the past year, year and a half. I've gone through a lot of

Timothy Mabry: 00:03:49

trials and tribulations in my lifetime. And I'm just going to

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give a brief overview of them. Because what I really want to

Timothy Mabry: 00:03:56

focus on is not the problems, but the solutions. But for me to

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talk about the solutions, you need to understand where I came

Timothy Mabry: 00:04:03

from what it happened. So growing up, I grew up in a very

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sheltered home. My parents would monitor and control every little

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thing that we did. And we watched him listen to and I was

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overactive hyper kid on ADHD medication. I was high as a kite

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most of my childhood. I call it high as a kite because I didn't

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really understand what of what it was. Now as an adult, like

Timothy Mabry: 00:04:31

Oh, I get it. It's that dreamlike state of existing in

Timothy Mabry: 00:04:34

the real world. So I was sheltered medicated. Then I got

Timothy Mabry: 00:04:39

into the real world. I got into the Navy because I wanted to

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serve. I want to help other people. I went through some

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pretty messed up things in the Navy, and I was in for less than

Timothy Mabry: 00:04:48

two years because I spoke out against a really horrible

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situation. And that affected my mental health. The Navy I was

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discharged let some two years as I mentioned before, just hey,

Timothy Mabry: 00:05:03

you're out, go figure it out. So the trauma that I had in the

Timothy Mabry: 00:05:07

Navy, it culminated, I brought it with me into the fire

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service. So yeah, I got into the fire service because I watched

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my neighbour die in a house fire. When I was in sixth grade,

Timothy Mabry: 00:05:18

I just remember that moment of feeling hopeless and lost. I

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wanted to serve people I was, I wanted to make sure that nobody

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felt that same way that I myself to rise above. So I joined the

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fire service straight out of the Navy. I spent nine years

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learning how to be a fireman how to be a leader, how to charge

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into situations that most people were running back. So as most

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people are running away, we charged it. And then I taught

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other people how to do that, how to riots how to overcome. But

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the one thing that I never got taught in any of my journey, was

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how to deal with the fires in my mind. See, seeing all the

Timothy Mabry: 00:06:03

trauma, the death, the hurt, and the pain associated with the

Timothy Mabry: 00:06:08

life of a first responder, and military is heavily taxing. The

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I call it like Superman effects. Superman is big, and he's

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strong, everyone on the outside, he can handle everything. And

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he's bulletproof. But what about his mind? What about the battle

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that goes on in his mind? The I didn't know those tools and

Timothy Mabry: 00:06:28

strategies. So I ended up getting severely depressed, not

Timothy Mabry: 00:06:33

caring about myself, not caring about other people. And I sought

Timothy Mabry: 00:06:39

to end it all. And I actually did, I tried to end it all, I

Timothy Mabry: 00:06:46

started to take my own life. With my wife, who was nine

Timothy Mabry: 00:06:50

months pregnant in the room next door, she had no idea what was

Timothy Mabry: 00:06:53

happening, because I concealed the struggle on the trauma so

Timothy Mabry: 00:06:57

well, that on the outside, everything looks fine, except

Timothy Mabry: 00:07:01

the subtle warning signs that were there. And it was out of

Timothy Mabry: 00:07:07

that in that moment, I decided, You know what, I'm not going to

Timothy Mabry: 00:07:10

do this again. What happened? How did I get from being happy,

Timothy Mabry: 00:07:15

loving my life, and my job to suddenly hating all of it. And

Timothy Mabry: 00:07:22

that's where the rise came out is a pure dedication to say I'm

Timothy Mabry: 00:07:26

tired of this, let me figure out how to rise and overcome. And

Timothy Mabry: 00:07:31

let me teach other people, because I don't like that

Timothy Mabry: 00:07:33

feeling

Howard Brown: 00:07:33

So Tim, I just want to take just a moment here,

Howard Brown: 00:07:37

and just honour this space that you had a child on the way you

Howard Brown: 00:07:41

had a loving wife. But the demons you are facing inside,

Howard Brown: 00:07:45

from what you went through and saw in the military, leading to

Howard Brown: 00:07:49

the you know, your your fire training and running in and not

Howard Brown: 00:07:53

away from fires. You work you're conducting an outside life. But

Howard Brown: 00:07:57

inside it was it was eating you up enough that you would

Howard Brown: 00:08:01

consider of taking your life. And so I will put this in the

Howard Brown: 00:08:05

show notes I want I'm going to put the suicide prevention

Howard Brown: 00:08:09

hotline and information in the show notes. And in this in

Howard Brown: 00:08:13

social media. I know that coming out of COVID loneliness and

Howard Brown: 00:08:17

depression has led people to think about taking their lives.

Howard Brown: 00:08:21

And I'm glad you're here. And I don't say this lightly. I'm glad

Howard Brown: 00:08:26

that you're you're teaching people not to do that to move

Howard Brown: 00:08:30

away from that to get out of that darkness. Because that's

Howard Brown: 00:08:34

what my book is about. Listen, committing suicide, having stage

Howard Brown: 00:08:38

four cancer, there are two different things, but there's

Howard Brown: 00:08:42

darkness, you can learn from that darkness, but you can't

Howard Brown: 00:08:46

have it consume you. And so please continue. I just needed

Howard Brown: 00:08:50

to stop you right there. Because I'm feeling it I'm feeling kind

Howard Brown: 00:08:54

of that internal struggle that you had to, you know, overcome.

Howard Brown: 00:08:58

For the sake of yourself first, and also a beautiful, you know,

Howard Brown: 00:09:03

child on the way you one you have one daughter and then one

Howard Brown: 00:09:07

on the way plus a wife and a family and a life. So take us

Howard Brown: 00:09:11

take us kind of some lessons there. And I just want to stop

Howard Brown: 00:09:15

and say that I'm so glad that you didn't actually take your

Howard Brown: 00:09:19

own life and you're here to now teach others.

Timothy Mabry: 00:09:23

I'm glad to that the biggest thing that I've

Timothy Mabry: 00:09:26

noticed, and I found on my journey is the secret to

Timothy Mabry: 00:09:30

happiness. They people always ask, what's the true secret to

Timothy Mabry: 00:09:33

happiness? How do you live an abundant life and it comes back

Timothy Mabry: 00:09:37

to gratitude. Gratitude is the secret and the key to happiness.

Timothy Mabry: 00:09:43

Because by focusing on the things you're grateful for, you

Timothy Mabry: 00:09:48

start to see a different perspective. The The reason and

Timothy Mabry: 00:09:52

how I got to where I was, but because I was so focused on the

Timothy Mabry: 00:09:56

past and the future that I wasn't paying attention You know

Timothy Mabry: 00:10:00

what I had in front of me, I wasn't paying attention, that I

Timothy Mabry: 00:10:03

had a loving wife, I had a daughter on the way I had a

Timothy Mabry: 00:10:07

career that I absolutely loved. I was focusing on so many bad

Timothy Mabry: 00:10:13

things and the demons in my head, that they started to run

Timothy Mabry: 00:10:17

the show. And I started to retrain my brain of, you know,

Timothy Mabry: 00:10:21

what, let me actually say, I'm thankful, I'm grateful for my

Timothy Mabry: 00:10:26

wife, I'm grateful that I woke up today, I'm grateful I have a

Timothy Mabry: 00:10:30

job. And it was those subtle shifts that I started to believe

Timothy Mabry: 00:10:35

there's more to live. And, and the VA therapy is called

Timothy Mabry: 00:10:39

Cognitive Processing Therapy, CPT. If you're a veteran, and

Timothy Mabry: 00:10:43

you've been through the VA Health System, or mental health,

Timothy Mabry: 00:10:47

you might know what this means. But if you don't, I'll explain

Timothy Mabry: 00:10:50

it. CPT, it has one big lesson. And it's called stuck points.

Timothy Mabry: 00:10:55

Stuck points are negative beliefs, thoughts, or behaviours

Timothy Mabry: 00:10:59

that you have about yourself or other people that hold you back.

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And I had about 15 of those stuck points that I was able to

Timothy Mabry: 00:11:09

write down. Five to 10 of them, were the most prevalent, and

Timothy Mabry: 00:11:14

those were, I was on a constant repeat in my brain. And that was

Timothy Mabry: 00:11:18

holding me back because I'm not good enough. I'm a loser, I have

Timothy Mabry: 00:11:22

no value to add, oh, God, why me. And in the training, and

Timothy Mabry: 00:11:29

I've created this in my programme, to reshape it a

Timothy Mabry: 00:11:32

little bit to be more refined. And I talked about not only how

Timothy Mabry: 00:11:39

to identify what a stuck point is, but to retrain it, like to

Timothy Mabry: 00:11:45

evaluate, alright, this is what it is. This is that the

Timothy Mabry: 00:11:49

behaviour This is the emotion, this is the feeling. This is

Timothy Mabry: 00:11:52

what triggers it. And then how to retrain your brain. To where

Timothy Mabry: 00:11:57

when you have those negative beliefs, like, Oh, God, why me?

Timothy Mabry: 00:12:01

You know what, why not me? Why not me being blessed today? I'm

Timothy Mabry: 00:12:06

not worth dying, I'm worthless. You know what I let this car in,

Timothy Mabry: 00:12:11

on the merge Lane today, I opened this door for this lady,

Timothy Mabry: 00:12:14

you know, what I am adding value, it doesn't have to be

Timothy Mabry: 00:12:17

this big monumental thing that I thought was us might think it's

Timothy Mabry: 00:12:23

the subtle things that build to be bigger and happier.

Howard Brown: 00:12:28

Wow. I mean, you're I love that because it

Howard Brown: 00:12:32

doesn't have to be you don't you know, in order to climb the

Howard Brown: 00:12:34

mountain, you got to take the first few steps. So that that's

Howard Brown: 00:12:38

a that's a really great exercise to be able to put down your

Howard Brown: 00:12:42

stock points and, and have them written down and look at the

Howard Brown: 00:12:46

prioritise them. Really great exercise, Nate, thank you for

Howard Brown: 00:12:49

sharing that. So you're, you're taking that now, and you're

Howard Brown: 00:12:54

taking your own experience. And you're taking that to

Howard Brown: 00:12:57

corporations and to employee engagement type of programmes.

Howard Brown: 00:13:01

Tell us about where that is and how that's going.

Timothy Mabry: 00:13:05

And most definitely, it's going great.

Timothy Mabry: 00:13:06

And what I do for a company specifically, is I start

Timothy Mabry: 00:13:11

identifying what is going on in that organisation? Do the

Timothy Mabry: 00:13:15

companies that I target, they have high turnover rates. And

Timothy Mabry: 00:13:20

high turnover is typically one of two things. It's either bad

Timothy Mabry: 00:13:23

benefits, or a bad culture, bad culture equates to bad

Timothy Mabry: 00:13:29

leadership, and unengaged employees. So what I do is I

Timothy Mabry: 00:13:35

actually send out a survey to the company, and the employee

Timothy Mabry: 00:13:39

has figured out, hey, what's the problem? In your opinion? What

Timothy Mabry: 00:13:44

is the issue going on here. And then I give the leadership team,

Timothy Mabry: 00:13:50

a DISC assessment, to figure out how they operate, and how some

Timothy Mabry: 00:13:56

of their employees and high level management operate as

Timothy Mabry: 00:13:59

well. Because sometimes if there's a disconnect between

Timothy Mabry: 00:14:01

upper and lower management, it throws everything off. And I saw

Timothy Mabry: 00:14:06

that in the fire service. Where I got this from was several fire

Timothy Mabry: 00:14:11

scenes. I'm gonna give you a quick example on that. One day,

Timothy Mabry: 00:14:14

we had a house fire. It was a routine fire. We were second to

Timothy Mabry: 00:14:19

third in engine first in normally gets all the glory, and

Timothy Mabry: 00:14:22

they have to make decisions. So we're all the way to this fire.

Timothy Mabry: 00:14:26

And the first arriving crew didn't really know what they

Timothy Mabry: 00:14:29

were doing. You could hear the lieutenant's voice on the radio.

Timothy Mabry: 00:14:34

He was lost. He was confused and he was wishy washy. He was not

Timothy Mabry: 00:14:38

certain on himself, which translated to whenever every

Timothy Mabry: 00:14:44

other truck came in. Things were going to hell people didn't know

Timothy Mabry: 00:14:47

what to do, like, Hey, what are we doing? Ah, I don't know.

Timothy Mabry: 00:14:50

Finally, someone had a chief got there, stepped in and said no,

Timothy Mabry: 00:14:55

this is what we're going to do. This is how we're going to do

Timothy Mabry: 00:14:59

it. and sort of mitigate the situation better. See, when it

Timothy Mabry: 00:15:04

comes to employees and culture and leaders, the leader has to

Timothy Mabry: 00:15:08

be decisive in certain moments, but also know when to take that

Timothy Mabry: 00:15:12

step back. Even if your strategies aren't working, you

Timothy Mabry: 00:15:15

got to be bold on it. Let me call somebody in, let's

Timothy Mabry: 00:15:19

reevaluate this. And it's taking that mentality and presence into

Timothy Mabry: 00:15:24

corporate world. Because a lot of people, when they promote,

Timothy Mabry: 00:15:28

they promote and look for themselves, they don't look for

Timothy Mabry: 00:15:31

other people or consider others. And that's a unique trick of,

Timothy Mabry: 00:15:36

hey, you know, it's not weak, asking for help, it's actually a

Timothy Mabry: 00:15:39

major strength to say, I don't have all the answers. Let me

Timothy Mabry: 00:15:44

take a step back, and let me find it. And that's what I

Timothy Mabry: 00:15:47

helped teach leaders do and organisations and say, let me

Timothy Mabry: 00:15:50

take a step back. And it's okay, and we're gonna, we're gonna

Timothy Mabry: 00:15:54

reevaluate this.

Howard Brown: 00:15:56

And that I love that strategy, the story of the

Howard Brown: 00:16:00

chief, you know, who had maybe a little more training, a little

Howard Brown: 00:16:03

more wisdom, a little more experience to come in and

Howard Brown: 00:16:05

rectify that situation. I liked that story. And also the

Howard Brown: 00:16:10

ability, you know, as your perspective, from the outside

Howard Brown: 00:16:14

looking in, makes you hopefully more objective, as well, and do

Howard Brown: 00:16:18

that. I play team sports all my life, Tim, and I will tell you,

Howard Brown: 00:16:25

I've been a point guard on the basketball court, which is the

Howard Brown: 00:16:27

floor general or the quarterback, trying to make

Howard Brown: 00:16:30

decisions coach on the floor. And, you know, I played on lots

Howard Brown: 00:16:34

of teams, and the culture matters. Trust matters, right.

Howard Brown: 00:16:40

And so it's hard to change that, like, in a day, it has to be

Howard Brown: 00:16:48

built up over time, it has to be earned. So that's, that's some

Howard Brown: 00:16:51

of the lessons. But I guess you're going into a fire, you

Howard Brown: 00:16:54

got to know that the partner and the team that you're running

Howard Brown: 00:16:57

into has your back, they're all going to do their jobs in order

Howard Brown: 00:17:01

to get that fire out, get the people to safety, assess the

Howard Brown: 00:17:04

situation properly. So So I love that your experience of

Howard Brown: 00:17:08

assessing that because if the team doesn't, doesn't do their

Howard Brown: 00:17:12

job in a fire, the place burns down lives can be lost. Also,

Howard Brown: 00:17:16

your own team can get hurt, right? You get yourself into

Howard Brown: 00:17:20

real danger. So I've never been a firefighter. But in talking to

Howard Brown: 00:17:24

you, I'm learning and understanding a little bit more.

Howard Brown: 00:17:27

And so do your strategies work across the board? Or do you

Howard Brown: 00:17:31

actually tailor them for like different industries or things

Howard Brown: 00:17:34

like that,

Timothy Mabry: 00:17:36

they can work across the board. And I just

Timothy Mabry: 00:17:40

tailor them a little bit per the person per the organisation, the

Timothy Mabry: 00:17:45

I can go into a fire department, or a military or veteran run

Timothy Mabry: 00:17:49

organisation, local governments. And I can be a little bit brash,

Timothy Mabry: 00:17:53

I can say you're screwing up here and X, Y, and Z and use

Timothy Mabry: 00:17:56

curse words, I go into the civilian sector, I had to be a

Timothy Mabry: 00:18:01

little bit careful of what I say and how I say it just because

Timothy Mabry: 00:18:04

the culture first responders, veterans, the culture is a

Timothy Mabry: 00:18:09

little more brash, if you come at them, Hey, sweetheart, gotta

Timothy Mabry: 00:18:13

be careful, we're gonna be like, No, I'm not gonna listen to you.

Timothy Mabry: 00:18:17

You have to find that nice gap in how to interact with people

Timothy Mabry: 00:18:22

that was great about the DISC assessment, and you start to see

Timothy Mabry: 00:18:25

how to interact, building that report, as well. It's the

Timothy Mabry: 00:18:29

language, a unique trick and hack that I learned, that's

Timothy Mabry: 00:18:33

extremely valuable. I learned this on a private jet flight. If

Timothy Mabry: 00:18:38

you're trying to get into a new industry, or get a better

Timothy Mabry: 00:18:41

client, learn exactly what that person talks like those people

Timothy Mabry: 00:18:46

behave, and you start mimicking it. Because by doing that,

Timothy Mabry: 00:18:51

you're going to be able to adapt what they're saying. And they're

Timothy Mabry: 00:18:54

going to be comfortable with you. And they're not going to

Timothy Mabry: 00:18:56

ask as many questions because if you sound like an expert, they

Timothy Mabry: 00:19:00

don't, they won't have too many questions for it. They'll just

Timothy Mabry: 00:19:03

accept it. Or the moment they see that you're wishy washy,

Timothy Mabry: 00:19:07

you're not certain of yourself and what you're saying, that's

Timothy Mabry: 00:19:10

when they're going to poke and prod. And that's where it goes

Timothy Mabry: 00:19:13

for bigger leaders as higher up as well. They sense that as as,

Timothy Mabry: 00:19:17

as well. So if you're trying to advance, you're trying to get a

Timothy Mabry: 00:19:20

better client. learn exactly what how that person takes how

Timothy Mabry: 00:19:24

the industry behaves, and you'll be able to adapt to it. And

Timothy Mabry: 00:19:27

that's what I do is I watch and learn from the company that I'm

Timothy Mabry: 00:19:31

about to get into and the people and figure out how to best

Timothy Mabry: 00:19:35

interact with them. And that's how I tailor No,

Howard Brown: 00:19:39

I love it. I also like the disc system. It's tried

Howard Brown: 00:19:42

and true to know who you are. I actually did something similar.

Howard Brown: 00:19:46

Tim it was it was actually the bird exercise. And it's what

Howard Brown: 00:19:50

type of bird Are you? Are you the eagle or hawk or are you the

Howard Brown: 00:19:54

owl or are you the dove or are you the peacock to create it

Howard Brown: 00:19:59

right and how you got to define who you are. And you could be

Howard Brown: 00:20:02

more than one bird? And how do you see the other bird? How do

Howard Brown: 00:20:06

you get along? So how does the hawk or the eagle get along with

Howard Brown: 00:20:10

the dove and get along with the owl, because this is all

Howard Brown: 00:20:13

Organisational Behaviour. This is this is working individually

Howard Brown: 00:20:17

pulling your own weight, but also being a team player. So I

Howard Brown: 00:20:21

that's that's kind of that your story reminded me of that. I

Howard Brown: 00:20:23

wanted to share that. So tell me about some misconceptions about

Howard Brown: 00:20:28

leadership in a time of crisis, and how you address those in

Howard Brown: 00:20:32

your training. Because, I guess, first responders in the military

Howard Brown: 00:20:37

crisis, you're running into a fire that is a time of crisis.

Howard Brown: 00:20:41

You know, what are some of the misconceptions there share with

Howard Brown: 00:20:45

me?

Timothy Mabry: 00:20:46

Definitely. So one big misconception that

Timothy Mabry: 00:20:49

people don't realise is that it's not always easy to make

Timothy Mabry: 00:20:55

those decisions. Earlier, or like a year ago, this month, we

Timothy Mabry: 00:21:02

had a call to where it was a hazmat situation, we didn't

Timothy Mabry: 00:21:06

really know the hazmat. So we went in to this chemical

Timothy Mabry: 00:21:10

warehouse. And it was either smoke or steam. We didn't know

Timothy Mabry: 00:21:15

what it were chemical release, we didn't know what it was. So

Timothy Mabry: 00:21:18

we had to go back go in there. We ended up having a scare where

Timothy Mabry: 00:21:23

compressors shot off. And my crew and I thought we were

Timothy Mabry: 00:21:25

gonna, like we thought we're gonna die. Like, we literally

Timothy Mabry: 00:21:28

just looked at each other. And we're like, Oh, my God, what

Timothy Mabry: 00:21:31

happened? So we come back out. And my chief gets there, he's

Timothy Mabry: 00:21:37

assessing the situation, conditions are getting worse,

Timothy Mabry: 00:21:40

like, I still don't know what's happening. And this is a man

Timothy Mabry: 00:21:45

I've never seen frazzled before in my life. I'd seen him on a

Timothy Mabry: 00:21:48

lot of messed up calls. And he has never once been afraid,

Timothy Mabry: 00:21:51

except in this moment. But he had to make a tough decision to

Timothy Mabry: 00:21:56

send this back in to assess it, I had to be able to lead my a

Timothy Mabry: 00:22:00

new crew who had never met in my life, into this chemical storage

Timothy Mabry: 00:22:05

warehouse to see is this a buyer? Or is this still a hazmat

Timothy Mabry: 00:22:10

released, we didn't know from our first entry, because we got

Timothy Mabry: 00:22:13

scared like, something's not right. So we went back in, and a

Timothy Mabry: 00:22:17

different type of suit. But it's okay to show a little bit of

Timothy Mabry: 00:22:23

weakness and those moments or concern, because then that

Timothy Mabry: 00:22:26

relates to your people, you're human, and building rapport.

Timothy Mabry: 00:22:31

That's a major thing. I didn't realise that until after this

Timothy Mabry: 00:22:35

call, that when you're actually vulnerable, and you start to

Timothy Mabry: 00:22:38

show your human side, people find you more approachable. And

Timothy Mabry: 00:22:43

so in times of crisis, you have to be that strong pillar to say,

Timothy Mabry: 00:22:47

You know what, we're going to rise up together, I got you. But

Timothy Mabry: 00:22:51

after the call, after the situation, you can open up and

Timothy Mabry: 00:22:55

say, This is my thoughts. This is your thoughts, let's, this is

Timothy Mabry: 00:22:59

what happened, let's actually divulge this. And to bring it

Timothy Mabry: 00:23:03

back to the humaneness by doing that. And you're able to build a

Timothy Mabry: 00:23:07

greater strength with your crew, with your team and showing that

Timothy Mabry: 00:23:10

vulnerability. And that's one big misconception that you must

Timothy Mabry: 00:23:14

be strong. The other thing too, is, yeah, you have to be

Timothy Mabry: 00:23:21

decisive. Because in that moment, why is that my chief, he

Timothy Mabry: 00:23:25

showed weakness, a little bit of being afraid. That's a good

Timothy Mabry: 00:23:30

thing, but also a bad thing. See, for me, it got me

Timothy Mabry: 00:23:34

concerned, because I knew he had never done that before. And I

Timothy Mabry: 00:23:39

actually told my wife goodbye. I sent her a text saying, Hey, I

Timothy Mabry: 00:23:44

may not make it out of this. So I'm going to say goodbye. And

Timothy Mabry: 00:23:51

there's a pro and con to that. It's Yes, you have to show

Timothy Mabry: 00:23:55

strength. But if you show weakness at the or, yeah,

Timothy Mabry: 00:23:59

weakness or afraid of the wrong points, it can cause a negative

Timothy Mabry: 00:24:03

effects. And being the leader who hears that or sees it, they

Timothy Mabry: 00:24:06

had to be able to be strong to say their team may not see it.

Timothy Mabry: 00:24:10

And that's what I had to do.

Howard Brown: 00:24:12

Yeah, I it's a really poignant story, because

Howard Brown: 00:24:16

your chief is human. He's trying to make the best decision, he

Howard Brown: 00:24:21

can at that time with the information that he had. And so

Howard Brown: 00:24:25

the ability he doesn't want to put more lives at stake, but he

Howard Brown: 00:24:29

also needs to get that fire under control, and he needed

Howard Brown: 00:24:32

more information. And so I can totally understand that, you

Howard Brown: 00:24:37

know, when you're under the fire under that gun, you know, make

Howard Brown: 00:24:40

those split second decisions matter. But, you know, you can't

Howard Brown: 00:24:44

be afraid of being wrong either. You have to actually go with

Howard Brown: 00:24:47

your training, you have to make the best decision and he sent

Howard Brown: 00:24:50

you guys back in and you got sent back in not knowing what

Howard Brown: 00:24:54

the outcome was. So that's why you sent your your wife a text

Howard Brown: 00:24:57

and and that's that's one It's bravery and two, you're doing

Howard Brown: 00:25:01

your job, but you didn't know the outcome, you did not know

Howard Brown: 00:25:04

the outcome. And I will tell you, the only thing I can relate

Howard Brown: 00:25:07

to that is that when you get told you have stage four, cancer

Howard Brown: 00:25:10

twice, you don't know if you're going to, you know, live through

Howard Brown: 00:25:12

it or not. And here I am, you know, breathing and I made

Howard Brown: 00:25:15

through it, you made it through. So we're sharing our, our

Howard Brown: 00:25:17

stories, that's where we're aligned here and, and able to

Howard Brown: 00:25:20

help people that get knocked down, help them get back up

Howard Brown: 00:25:23

again. I mean, I can't imagine those new guys that you let in

Howard Brown: 00:25:26

what the after meeting was like, I mean, some of them probably in

Howard Brown: 00:25:31

tears, some of them, just stunned. Some of them. I can't

Howard Brown: 00:25:34

imagine when you when you regrouped with the team that you

Howard Brown: 00:25:37

lead in there. So maybe that's a story for another time. But the

Howard Brown: 00:25:43

I just, I want you to tell me through, you know, and guide our

Howard Brown: 00:25:48

audience here on kind of how to take that first step. Because

Howard Brown: 00:25:54

that's really, you know, if you don't take the first step, you

Howard Brown: 00:25:57

you stay stuck. So how do you how do you how do you how do you

Howard Brown: 00:26:00

tell people and when you get into your training, and your

Howard Brown: 00:26:02

speaking, how do you have them take that first step,

Timothy Mabry: 00:26:05

the first step to any problem is identifying and

Timothy Mabry: 00:26:09

saying you have a problem. I met a gentleman who was buying at a

Timothy Mabry: 00:26:15

company. And they're all reason he was buying out the company is

Timothy Mabry: 00:26:19

because the owner, three years prior had an issue and he didn't

Timothy Mabry: 00:26:22

speak up with it at all. So he let it bother him so much. And

Timothy Mabry: 00:26:28

in fact, his company so bad that he ended up having to sell his

Timothy Mabry: 00:26:31

company to save the employees. So the first step is admit you

Timothy Mabry: 00:26:36

have a problem. The second step is to get help, you may not be

Timothy Mabry: 00:26:41

able to do it yourself, hell, or heck, most of the time, you can

Timothy Mabry: 00:26:46

do it on your own, we're not supposed to do it on our own.

Timothy Mabry: 00:26:49

That's why I believe in God, believe in friendship, you need

Timothy Mabry: 00:26:53

somebody to help pull you out and pull you up. That's why it's

Timothy Mabry: 00:26:57

leaf through fire. Because I help you lead through the fire

Timothy Mabry: 00:27:01

of your life, your business, your finances, so that you're in

Timothy Mabry: 00:27:04

a happier, healthier state. And it may not be me, it may be your

Timothy Mabry: 00:27:09

best friend and maybe a co worker, but somebody out there

Timothy Mabry: 00:27:13

truly cares. If you don't have somebody reach out a call there,

Timothy Mabry: 00:27:18

I guarantee if you're at that point where you're desperate.

Timothy Mabry: 00:27:23

There's numbers a suicide hotline, but Cohen military

Timothy Mabry: 00:27:26

centre, the VA for veterans, there's resources out there that

Timothy Mabry: 00:27:32

if you really don't know how to move forward, they're able to

Timothy Mabry: 00:27:36

help you.

Howard Brown: 00:27:38

I'll ask them you and I are a wealth of

Howard Brown: 00:27:40

information, we can help them find help as well. So in any

Howard Brown: 00:27:44

area, whether it's corporate or how, or personal or family, you

Howard Brown: 00:27:48

and I can get them we can we can direct them to help help as well

Howard Brown: 00:27:52

or not help I can help them themselves. So this is really

Howard Brown: 00:27:56

been really great and very special. I want to transition

Howard Brown: 00:28:00

now we're gonna put on our sunglasses here. For those that

Howard Brown: 00:28:02

are listening. Alright, Tim's got his shades on he's looking

Howard Brown: 00:28:04

really cool. To get his lead through fire t shirt, I've got

Howard Brown: 00:28:07

my book and in the sun shining on me, and we've got our

Howard Brown: 00:28:11

sunglasses on. This is the shining, brightly spotlight,

Howard Brown: 00:28:13

please tell people how best to get a hold of you, you've got a

Howard Brown: 00:28:16

free gift. And then lead us with a story or some inspiration to

Howard Brown: 00:28:20

close out the show.

Timothy Mabry: 00:28:22

Most definitely. So you can contact me on my

Timothy Mabry: 00:28:25

website, lead dash feiyr.com. And there, I have all of my

Timothy Mabry: 00:28:32

contact information a way to get a hold of me, if you want to

Timothy Mabry: 00:28:35

book me for speaking gigs and events, podcast in person, or

Timothy Mabry: 00:28:39

even for your corporate needs. Timothy mabry.com, you can even

Timothy Mabry: 00:28:43

directly get my cell phone number from that website. And

Timothy Mabry: 00:28:49

I'm here to serve and to help as many people the big thing that I

Timothy Mabry: 00:28:53

want to leave you with today is that you're never alone, that

Timothy Mabry: 00:28:58

your journey starts with you taking that first step, you can

Timothy Mabry: 00:29:02

always change your circumstances no matter what. And if you need

Timothy Mabry: 00:29:05

a free resource to help you get started being a better leader to

Timothy Mabry: 00:29:09

have engaging conversations that you need to have other people

Timothy Mabry: 00:29:13

that build that report. I have a free guide that you'll find

Timothy Mabry: 00:29:17

inside lead dash feiyr.com/leaders guide. And

Timothy Mabry: 00:29:22

right there, you can download it and that'll help you along your

Timothy Mabry: 00:29:24

journey. Because you got this you can overcome if I can do it.

Timothy Mabry: 00:29:29

You can too. I look forward to being the change and affecting 1

Timothy Mabry: 00:29:33

million leaders by 2028 with y'all. Wow.

Howard Brown: 00:29:38

Oh man, I'm on the team. Sign me up. This is

Howard Brown: 00:29:41

amazing. So, Tim, I'll have all your information inside the show

Howard Brown: 00:29:48

notes and on social media, but that free guide is lead hyphen

Howard Brown: 00:29:52

feiyr.com Leaders Guide you can download that actually right

Howard Brown: 00:29:56

now. So if your house is on fire or your head is on fire We can

Howard Brown: 00:30:00

help and Tim can help. This is really important to ask for

Howard Brown: 00:30:05

help. I love that is to admit the problem, get some help. So

Howard Brown: 00:30:09

this has been an amazing show, the shining, brightly podcast.

Howard Brown: 00:30:12

I'm your host and Maestro of the mike Howard Brown, you can reach

Howard Brown: 00:30:16

me at shining brightly.com Check out my book. It's my memoir. It

Howard Brown: 00:30:21

starts with kindness and gratitude, it ends with hope.

Howard Brown: 00:30:24

And my speaking information as well on the website, as well as

Howard Brown: 00:30:28

this podcast, and my advocacy in the entrepreneurial world, in

Howard Brown: 00:30:33

the corporate world, in the cancer world and in the

Howard Brown: 00:30:35

interfaith world. So Tim, here's this is really an amazing thing

Howard Brown: 00:30:40

that we're so similar is that we all get knocked down, you've

Howard Brown: 00:30:43

been knocked down, I've been knocked down. But we've now got

Howard Brown: 00:30:46

back up again, and we've chosen to lift up others. So it's easy

Howard Brown: 00:30:51

choice to shine brightly each day for ourselves, for others

Howard Brown: 00:30:56

for our communities, the world will be a better place. Thank

Howard Brown: 00:31:00

you, Tim. Great, great show and I wish you all the best and

Howard Brown: 00:31:04

thank you again for your service.

Timothy Mabry: 00:31:07

And thank you for having me however, I'm really

Timothy Mabry: 00:31:09

appreciate for having this opportunity and being on your

Timothy Mabry: 00:31:11

show.

Howard Brown: 00:31:12

My pleasure.