The Tao of Self-Confidence With Sheena Yap Chan

Howard Brown: 00:00:04

Hello, it's Howard brown. It's the Shining Brightly

Howard Brown: 00:00:07

Show. Oh my goodness, I get the best guests. And I have this

Howard Brown: 00:00:11

amazing author, speaker podcaster and Sheena Yep. Chen

Howard Brown: 00:00:17

from the great country of Canada, up in Toronto is with us

Howard Brown: 00:00:21

today. How are you? Hey, Howard, thank you so much for having me

Howard Brown: 00:00:24

as a guest on the show today. I'm truly honoured and I'm doing

Howard Brown: 00:00:27

fantastic. Well, you got quite a story to share. And I'm excited

Howard Brown: 00:00:32

to get started with you. But let me let me share just a little

Howard Brown: 00:00:35

bit about you. I know you've got for people on the video side,

Howard Brown: 00:00:38

you've got your book, The Tao of self confidence. You've got

Howard Brown: 00:00:41

Asian women who boss me up available on Kindle. This is

Howard Brown: 00:00:44

awesome. And we're going to talk about all those things. So so

Howard Brown: 00:00:47

let me just introduce you a little bit and then you can fill

Howard Brown: 00:00:49

in the blanks. So Sheena Chan is a keynote speaker, podcaster

Howard Brown: 00:00:53

consultant, and a Wall Street Journal best selling author, and

Howard Brown: 00:00:57

building self confidence. Everybody needs self confidence.

Howard Brown: 00:01:00

Boy, we've been in tough, tough times, you've tough to get out

Howard Brown: 00:01:02

of bed some days. She currently inspires women through her award

Howard Brown: 00:01:05

winning podcast called The Tao of self confidence, where she

Howard Brown: 00:01:08

interviews Asian women about their inner journey to self

Howard Brown: 00:01:11

confidence. Her mission is to help Asian women boost their

Howard Brown: 00:01:14

confidence to live their authentic selves. Helping Asian

Howard Brown: 00:01:18

woman creates a voice in the world and creates a stronger

Howard Brown: 00:01:20

representation for Asian women. She has been featured in Mind

Howard Brown: 00:01:24

Valley slice.ca, marketing and Asia, the MILA Manila times and

Howard Brown: 00:01:30

a lot more. You are a top 100 Filipino have to talk about

Howard Brown: 00:01:34

that. And you're followed on LinkedIn for inspiration and

Howard Brown: 00:01:38

learning. You're also co author of an international best selling

Howard Brown: 00:01:42

book, The Asian woman who boss up and the Tao of self

Howard Brown: 00:01:46

confidence is a Publishers Weekly best seller too. So we

Howard Brown: 00:01:49

got lots to talk about. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Share some

Howard Brown: 00:01:52

more about yourself. And also tell my audience a little bit

Howard Brown: 00:01:55

something that not everybody knows about you that you want to

Howard Brown: 00:01:58

share?

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:01:58

Yeah, for sure. First off, hello, everybody.

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:02:01

Welcome to the show. Thank you for tuning in. Something that I

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:02:04

probably that most of you may not know is I love to watch K

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:02:07

dramas, they're my guilty pleasure, started out of the

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:02:10

lock downs and kind of went downhill from there. But I love

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:02:13

them. You know the story, the storytelling is so great. And

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:02:17

for me, it's really great when it talks about mental health and

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:02:20

trauma, which is something that is still a huge taboo in our

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:02:23

community. So being able to paint that story is really

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:02:26

important because it's very relatable, especially growing up

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:02:29

as an Asian woman.

Howard Brown: 00:02:31

So binging during during the pandemic. Ah,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:02:34

yes.

Howard Brown: 00:02:35

All right. A lot of people did Hulu and Netflix,

Howard Brown: 00:02:38

HBO, everyone's doing that. So what we're coming out of it. And

Howard Brown: 00:02:42

tell us about your journey. Just a little bit about about

Howard Brown: 00:02:46

Chinese, Filipino and a little bit about, you know, growing up

Howard Brown: 00:02:49

and your family life and things like that, and how you got over

Howard Brown: 00:02:52

to Canada?

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:02:53

Yeah, for sure. So I was born in the

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:02:54

Philippines, my great grandfather and my grandfather

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:02:58

migrated from Taiwan and China to the Philippines. So now we

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:03:01

have a lot of family Philippines. My dad decided to

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:03:04

migrate to Canada when I was seven. So, you know, first time

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:03:09

ever, coming to Canada, and I didn't even know what Canada

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:03:13

was, I kept asking my father, are we going to America? And

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:03:16

he's like, No, we're going to Canada. And I'm like, is there a

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:03:19

Disneyland in Canada? He's like, No, I'm like, why would why can

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:03:22

we go to America? Why are we going to Canada, you know, but I

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:03:25

love Canada. I love Toronto, it's, you know, I love that so

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:03:28

multicultural. You can literally try every cuisine on earth here

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:03:33

in Toronto. And every, you know, the work that I do now really

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:03:36

stem from my upbringing, you know, growing up in Toronto in

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:03:39

the 90s. I never saw anybody that looked like me, you know,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:03:43

on media, on TV, billboards, magazines. So I felt ashamed of

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:03:48

my own culture and wanted to have blond hair and blue eyes,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:03:51

change my name to Heather to have a more Western name. And

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:03:55

yeah, so for from like, age nine or 10, to like my 20s, I was,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:00

you know, I always didn't want to be Asian, I was always

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:02

embarrassed of it. And it wasn't until I dyed my hair back from

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:05

blonde to my original hair colours, where I finally

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:08

embraced my culture. And in 2015, as I was dealing with my

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:13

own competence issues, I was really looking for resource

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:16

systems that really catered to Asian Women's confidence, but I

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:19

really couldn't find any there was nothing out there. And so

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:22

part of me thought I was the only one dealing with this, but

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:25

culturally, we're not told to talk about how we feel or what

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:27

we're going through. And so that's how the podcast the top

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:30

of self confidence started, you know, as a way to support Asian

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:33

women and also create better representation because till this

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:36

day, we're still seen by our negative stereotypes. And even

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:40

though I had a podcast about confidence, I was like the least

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:43

confident right? Because I you know, I was like, Oh my God,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:45

these women are amazing. You know, they're like, eight figure

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:48

earners. I got 2 million followers on Instagram. And then

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:51

there's me. And in Asian culture, the compare game is

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:55

very strong. You know, I just felt like, you know, there was

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:04:59

some went out there who's already doing it better than I

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:05:01

did. So I didn't really have to, like, make that effort. And then

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:05:05

when the pandemic happened, I was just like, I thought the

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:05:07

world was done. Like, I thought it was the end of the world, I

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:05:11

was like, ready to quit everything, because we didn't

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:05:13

know what was gonna happen, we were all stuck at home, right?

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:05:16

We didn't know if we were gonna make it through or not. And so

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:05:19

it was just like one of the weirdest times of our life. But

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:05:23

then, you know, in in the summer of 2020, I met a lady online who

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:05:26

started the book series women who boss up. And, you know, we

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:05:29

co created this book, we've done 10 books since the pandemic from

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:05:32

different themes. And it really just gave me the confidence to

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:05:36

go out there and share my voice really speak up for, especially

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:05:39

for Asian women, which led to being able to work with a big

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:05:42

time publisher like Wiley, to have this book, The Tao of self

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:05:46

confidence, a guide to moving beyond trauma and awakening the

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:05:49

leader within. And, you know, it's it's not typical to have an

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:05:53

Asian woman talk about, right about leadership, right? If you

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:05:57

look at the numbers in the US, Asian women have one of the

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:06:00

lowest numbers in high corporate roles in management roles in

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:06:04

leadership roles, and it keeps declining. So I was like, Why is

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:06:08

it you know, we have one of the lowest levels of leadership. And

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:06:12

it really ties down to like, the trauma, we go through what Asian

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:06:16

women go through in general, and being able to have these tough

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:06:18

conversations. So we can move, move past it and show up as our

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:06:22

best self because we all go through some form of trauma,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:06:24

right. And sometimes we're not aware of that trauma. And we

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:06:28

don't realise that trauma could be holding us back or taking

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:06:31

control of us. And so, as chaotic as this world is, I

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:06:35

believe what we really need is to heal, like healing is so

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:06:38

important, especially, you know, after the pandemic, and we're

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:06:42

still going through the after effects of that, and we really

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:06:44

need healing so we can move forward, be our best selves and,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:06:48

you know, live the life that we're meant to live.

Howard Brown: 00:06:51

Yeah, then the number one cause I read this

Howard Brown: 00:06:53

recently, of coming out of the pandemic was loneliness.

Howard Brown: 00:06:56

Everyone is craving for a hug, or embrace or interaction, not

Howard Brown: 00:07:01

just on Zoom, right? But it's just some good things to it and

Howard Brown: 00:07:05

bad things is put us together today. And by the way, Canada is

Howard Brown: 00:07:08

part of North America, we got to tell gramps that we get the

Howard Brown: 00:07:10

geography lesson there done. But it's important. You don't know

Howard Brown: 00:07:15

this about me. But I went to Babson College, it's the number

Howard Brown: 00:07:17

one school for entrepreneurship. And we have a centre for Women's

Howard Brown: 00:07:21

Entrepreneur leaders. And you are right. African American

Howard Brown: 00:07:25

women, Asian women are in the minority of ones who get funded

Howard Brown: 00:07:29

for their business and put into executive roles. And that trend

Howard Brown: 00:07:34

has not really budged much in a long time. And it needs to

Howard Brown: 00:07:38

because it doesn't make any sense when you want diverse

Howard Brown: 00:07:42

views as well as different opinions and different qualities

Howard Brown: 00:07:46

of people. And I take me back to this is this because of, you

Howard Brown: 00:07:49

know, in the Philippines or even in China was some of your family

Howard Brown: 00:07:53

in Taiwan, where it's just more of a male dominated upbringing?

Howard Brown: 00:07:56

Is that where the women are not given that role or respect?

Howard Brown: 00:08:01

They're supposed to raise the family? Am I onto something

Howard Brown: 00:08:04

there?

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:08:04

Yeah, I mean, there's some commonalities in

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:08:07

every Asian culture where you know, the men are favoured over

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:08:09

women. I mean, if family had to choose between their son or

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:08:13

daughter to go to school, of course, they'll pick, they'll

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:08:15

choose a son over the daughter, like my grandmother only went up

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:08:18

to sixth grade. And then she started, she had to start taking

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:08:21

care of the family, and my grandma had 11 siblings. So it's

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:08:25

a lot to take care of. And if you look back in history, it's

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:08:28

always like, you know, the men, the men are the ones who can

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:08:32

have multiple wives have concubines, and the more the

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:08:35

merrier, because it's more chances of carrying the family

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:08:37

name. And this was really important, like, it was so

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:08:40

important for the men to have a son to carry the family name to

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:08:44

live on that family name. So even in China, right, like, you

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:08:49

know, women are vilified if they're single, like, if you're,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:08:51

if you're 25. And over, but you have a good job, you have good

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:08:56

business, you have your head on your shoulders, you're

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:08:59

considered a leftover. And that's what they literally call

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:09:02

it. In Japan. The similar they have that they have a similar

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:09:07

thing, but it's called Christmas cake. Because after Christmas,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:09:11

your leftover so it's so crazy. That, you know, we still go

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:09:17

through this or even in Japan, you know, women still get

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:09:19

treated unfairly. Right. So that's one of the things and

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:09:24

then culturally, you know, we're just seeing as someone to get

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:09:26

married, have kids and run the household, not be like, you can

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:09:29

be an entrepreneur, you can be a creator, you can go out there

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:09:32

and live the life that you're supposed to live, right. You

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:09:36

know, for so long. We've been taught to live one way of life

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:09:39

and it was passed on from generation to generation to

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:09:41

generation for centuries. So of course, that's all we know, not

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:09:45

realising that really has been hurting us for the longest time.

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:09:48

And people don't realise too, like we're not only carrying our

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:09:51

own traumas, we're carrying the traumas of our parents, our

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:09:55

grandparents, our great grandparents, and so on. Like

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:09:57

they say it's four generations deep. But I believe it goes

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:10:01

deeper just because historically, the things that's

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:10:03

happened to us like sometimes, you know, we have certain

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:10:06

traditions that we do that doesn't make sense that actually

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:10:09

hurts women. Right? And we never question it. Like, back in the

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:10:14

day, you know, Chinese women had their feet binded as a status

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:10:17

symbol is a symbol of beauty and like, knowing that the person's

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:10:21

married, like, even my own great grandmother had her feet binded

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:10:24

and I didn't even know that until, like, you know, three,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:10:26

four months ago, but that was that was that was like typical

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:10:30

back then. Right? To show that status, and not realising, like,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:10:35

that's really painful. Like, it's, it's painful. And then she

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:10:39

had that done. So there's so many things, we could go through

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:10:43

that just like, you know, it would take forever, like,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:10:46

there's just so many things, but these are things that nobody

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:10:49

talks about, right? And it's not about feeling like the victim,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:10:52

it's just understanding this is what we go through. And that we

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:10:55

have to be aware of it so we can find solutions. So we could move

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:10:58

on.

Howard Brown: 00:10:59

So but going through seven, seven years old

Howard Brown: 00:11:03

growing up in Toronto, even though it's multicultural, you

Howard Brown: 00:11:06

did feel different, or were you bullied in school a little bit?

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:11:09

I mean, I got teased in school. I don't I

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:11:11

mean, I think back then, um, you know, we didn't have social

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:11:16

media and social media is like, it's good. And it's, and it can

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:11:20

be bad, right, like online bullying and things like that.

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:11:24

Yes, of course, I was teased, you know, I was different. But

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:11:28

you know, I don't think it was, to the extent is like, some of

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:11:31

the bullying that kids go through nowadays, which is just

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:11:34

terrifying, right? But I always felt different, of course,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:11:38

right? When you don't fit the mould of what a Canadian is

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:11:42

supposed to look like, or what an American is supposed to look

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:11:44

like. You feel like you're not beautiful. You feel like your

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:11:47

self worth has gone down. And all you want to aspire is what

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:11:51

that supposed to look like. So, so yeah, for, like I mentioned

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:11:55

during, in my childhood, I just never felt that I was good

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:11:58

enough. Because I was Asian, right? Or I felt really ugly.

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:12:01

Because I was Asian, they didn't have blue hair and blonde

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:12:03

nights, or blond haired blue eyes.

Howard Brown: 00:12:06

We know what you're saying. It's okay. So, so

Howard Brown: 00:12:09

so so you're getting this. And in 2015, you're really starting

Howard Brown: 00:12:12

to build up, I've had to empower yourself, and then empower

Howard Brown: 00:12:16

others. And this is what I love about the book and the excerpt.

Howard Brown: 00:12:18

So that I've read and all that take us through the writing

Howard Brown: 00:12:21

process. You're already kind of done a collaborative book, but

Howard Brown: 00:12:24

this was your book.

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:12:25

So I mean, a collaborative book is totally

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:12:27

different, because it's just one chapter, right. But I mean, this

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:12:30

is a full fledged book. And I had less than three months to do

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:12:33

it so that we can have it launched in last month, which

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:12:37

was Asian heritage month. And so as soon as we, we, we, I said

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:12:42

yes to it. The next day, I just started writing. And I mean,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:12:48

even before though I was questioning myself, if I was the

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:12:51

person to write this book, right, I'm like, Who am I to

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:12:54

write a book about leadership? Like, I don't even really know

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:12:56

what I'm doing. Right? And we, you know, self doubt is normal,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:00

right? We feel like, there's someone out there who could do

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:03

it better. But I realised I needed to do this, not just for

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:06

myself, but for my community, for the Asian women out there

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:09

who feel like, they don't like who feel the same way I was

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:13

feeling right, maybe they feel like they're not good enough. I

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:15

want them to show them like it's possible, it's really possible

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:19

for you, especially if it's possible for me, because I'm

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:21

not, you know, I'm not the smartest, you know, I'm not

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:23

like, you know, I don't have like straight A's or like MBAs

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:27

or anything, but I'm willing to do the work, I'm willing to make

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:30

mistakes, to figure things out to course correct. To get it

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:34

done. And, you know, as women too, we've always been

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:37

programmed to like, wait for things to happen, not realising

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:40

that nothing happens if you wait, right? We got to go out

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:44

there and make the first move and be okay with it, even if it

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:46

means you know, people calling, you know, too much too

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:49

aggressive, too ambitious, too shameful. I mean, men do it all

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:53

the time, and they get praised for it. And it's time as women,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:56

we just need to dismantle these names, and then be seen as

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:13:59

courageous and confident versus too ambitious or too much.

Howard Brown: 00:14:03

Well, first of all, all that thing about,

Howard Brown: 00:14:05

you're not the right person, or you're not ready for I admire

Howard Brown: 00:14:09

that three months, I took three years. And I didn't write my

Howard Brown: 00:14:12

book, I dictated it over zoom, and invited 158 of the most

Howard Brown: 00:14:16

influential, important people in my life. So three months is like

Howard Brown: 00:14:20

speed you're writing every single day all day long. So it's

Howard Brown: 00:14:23

you got to give yourself some props for that. And then you

Howard Brown: 00:14:26

had, you know, a big publishing house, you know, help you with,

Howard Brown: 00:14:29

hopefully editorial and getting it done. But it's really

Howard Brown: 00:14:31

important. So the process was, you were on speed dial, you are

Howard Brown: 00:14:35

very much. Yeah, go ahead.

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:14:38

And one tip I got from my good friend was

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:14:40

right, like you're drunk and edit like you're sober. So

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:14:43

that's what I did. And then I had, of course, the team of

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:14:47

editors who kind of just make it flow a little bit better and

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:14:49

things like that. But yeah, I mean, that really helped me

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:14:53

because sometimes, too, if in the writing process as you're

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:14:56

writing, you're like, do you think people will understand

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:14:58

what I'm saying? Do you think this We'll make sense. Do you

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:15:00

think they'll laugh at me? I mean, of course, all these

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:15:03

thoughts will come into your head, right? I mean, you're

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:15:05

human, you want to make sure you you give your heart and soul and

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:15:08

give the best work and advice to help people out there reading.

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:15:11

Right? So yeah, I mean, I would go to Starbucks, like, every

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:15:16

weekend just to write this book, right. And the best thing was, I

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:15:20

was able to do it in chunks, you know, just like split it into

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:15:23

three things. So that, you know, here's part one, here's part

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:15:26

one, part one is done. Here's part two, part two, and part

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:15:29

three. So sometimes chunking into little actionable steps,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:15:33

makes it a lot easier versus trying to figure I gotta write a

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:15:35

whole book in three months, how am I going to do that? Right?

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:15:38

instead? I'd be like, well, first month, I'll do part one

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:15:40

second month, I'll do part two, then third month, I'll do part

Howard Brown: 00:15:44

Well, the relation here because of my book was

Howard Brown: 00:15:44

three.

Howard Brown: 00:15:48

shining brightly is be able to find hope, in darkness. And

Howard Brown: 00:15:53

you're giving hope to Asian women that had typically not had

Howard Brown: 00:15:57

a voice. So major applause for that. It's really important. And

Howard Brown: 00:16:01

now you're meeting all sorts of great accomplished women,

Howard Brown: 00:16:05

because this book is giving you that platform. Tell me what it's

Howard Brown: 00:16:09

like now that you know, you're creating better representation

Howard Brown: 00:16:12

for Asian women. Are you seeing the impact? Or you're feeling

Howard Brown: 00:16:14

it?

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:16:16

had other women saying, like, me and my daughter

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:16:20

are having these hard conversations that we don't

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:16:27

normally do. Which is, which is huge, because in Asian culture,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:16:31

you know, we just hide it under the rug and think it'll go away,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:16:34

not realising that is what is affecting us, right? We can't

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:16:38

hide anything under the rug, like we have to talk about these

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:16:40

important issues. If we keep everything under the rug, that's

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:16:44

this is why, you know, women are targeted more in Asian hate

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:16:46

crimes, not being not being able to be promoted to the next

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:16:51

level, because sometimes all they see is us as quiet and not

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:16:55

us as a leader. Right? There's a difference between working hard

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:16:59

and being able to be seen as a leader. And, and so we need to

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:17:03

figure out, you know, what does that look like? How do we be a

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:17:05

leader? How do How can we get to the next level? You know, we

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:17:08

don't even like go out there and network sometimes, right? Which

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:17:11

is huge. If you want to make a name for yourself. And is this

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:17:15

easy? Of course not. Right? I mean, I still get anxiety just

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:17:18

even thinking about or even reaching out. But I know, if I

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:17:21

do it, you know, it becomes a result, right? And another

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:17:25

result, and then it snowballs into everything else. So yeah,

Howard Brown: 00:17:30

well, I want to tell you, I do a lot of work in

Howard Brown: 00:17:32

the interfaith world. And when one minority is targeted, all

Howard Brown: 00:17:39

minorities can be targeted. And so I happen to do a tonne of

Howard Brown: 00:17:43

work, because I'm in the Jewish community, but in with the anti

Howard Brown: 00:17:46

semitism with the Muslim community and some of phobia,

Howard Brown: 00:17:49

and especially during COVID, when they were blaming Asians

Howard Brown: 00:17:54

for COVID, that whole China flu stuff that a former President

Howard Brown: 00:17:59

mentioned. I mean, that's, that's just plain wrong. And

Howard Brown: 00:18:02

it's not right. And so I was very proud to tell you that I

Howard Brown: 00:18:06

and Michigan, the Jewish community, we signed on this,

Howard Brown: 00:18:10

the Asian anti hate bill, and got that put through Congress.

Howard Brown: 00:18:14

So I hear what you're saying. It's just easy for people to

Howard Brown: 00:18:19

consider you the other and not actually look underneath at the

Howard Brown: 00:18:22

culture, the cuisine, and things like that, and appreciate that,

Howard Brown: 00:18:27

because we're all God's creatures, and we all have

Howard Brown: 00:18:31

value. And so this is what I love about you bring that

Howard Brown: 00:18:33

forward. And I have no idea because I use the hybrid

Howard Brown: 00:18:37

publisher, which I love, because we actually did the work

Howard Brown: 00:18:40

together. The big publishers, and I'm a first time author, and

Howard Brown: 00:18:44

an unlikely author, I didn't have the confidence, it wasn't

Howard Brown: 00:18:47

even on my bucket list. I'm a good speaker, not a great

Howard Brown: 00:18:50

writer. But the fact is, we use Zoom to get transcripts to

Howard Brown: 00:18:52

become drafts to become a chapter and I have I'm a

Howard Brown: 00:18:54

published author, Best Selling Author, as well. And it was a

Howard Brown: 00:18:58

huge effort, not three months, three years. So I'm just like in

Howard Brown: 00:19:01

awe of you to be able to push that through in that short

Howard Brown: 00:19:04

amount of time and to get a really amazing book out there.

Howard Brown: 00:19:08

So tell me some tips, a couple, two, three, whatever that how

Howard Brown: 00:19:14

does someone build their confidence? And what would you

Howard Brown: 00:19:17

recommend where to start?

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:19:18

Yeah, for sure. I mean, when it comes to

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:19:20

building confidence, I tell people to take it one step at a

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:19:23

time, you don't have to make really big leaps. Because

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:19:25

sometimes we make that big leap, and then we don't hit it. And

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:19:28

then we feel bad about ourselves, right? And in order

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:19:31

to create the big results that we want. It's about taking the

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:19:34

small daily actionable steps. So let's say you want to write a

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:19:37

book, right? And you're like, Oh, my God, this is such a big,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:19:41

big deal to write a book, right? And it is for a lot of people.

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:19:44

You know, just start with page one, right? Write one page a

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:19:47

day. And imagine if you wrote one page a day for a whole year,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:19:52

you would have full book or you would even have two books,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:19:54

right? So it's just you know, taking those things one step at

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:19:58

a time, like jogging. Maybe you want to start with one one

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:20:01

kilometre, right? You hit one kilometre, man, you want to add

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:20:04

maybe half a kilometre more, and just slowly increase it. And

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:20:09

you'd be surprised at the end, you could do like 20 kilometres

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:20:11

without without blinking an eye. So well that first piece of

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:20:14

advice is important because you can't eat the whole pizza. You

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:20:17

got to take the slice. That's great. Yeah. So Rome wasn't

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:20:21

built in a day. So don't expect yourself to do the same way.

Howard Brown: 00:20:25

Exactly what what other what other tips do you

Howard Brown: 00:20:28

have?

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:20:28

Yeah, I mean, another tip that I mentioned is

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:20:30

that, you know, we have all been confident in something that we

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:20:33

do, right? We've all been confident something whether it's

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:20:36

jogging, business, video, podcasting. And so when we start

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:20:42

doing something new, we get scared, because it's unknown to

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:20:45

us, right? But you can transfer the confidence that you have and

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:20:48

the things you've accomplished and put it towards that. So

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:20:52

that's not really about scared, it's just we don't know, we

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:20:54

don't know, we get, we don't know what the outcome is, we

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:20:56

don't know if we'll fail. And if we fail, it's not really

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:20:58

failure. It's just feedback. So being able to transfer whatever

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:21:02

you've done in the past that confidence to something new that

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:21:05

can really help you out. And then the most important part is

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:21:09

be okay to ask for help. This is so important, especially

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:21:13

culturally, we're not told to ask for help, it's seen as a

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:21:17

weakness, or a handout, but we can't do everything ourselves.

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:21:21

Like we all have blind spots. So so we won't be able to see it.

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:21:25

Right? So it's kind of like you're when you're driving a car

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:21:29

and you want to change lanes, what do you do you you look at

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:21:31

your rearview mirror to check out the blind spots. So you

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:21:34

know, you have to also apply it in real life like go ask for

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:21:38

help be okay to ask for help. Be okay to seek support? Because

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:21:42

asking for help is really what can help you build confidence

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:21:45

because they can there's a third, second or third pair of

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:21:48

eyes that can see your blind spots and then be able to course

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:21:51

correct so you can show up as your best self. You know, I this

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:21:56

is something that I tell every single person now because for so

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:21:59

long, we've always been told don't ask for help. Don't ask

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:22:01

for help. Don't ask for help. But we we have to ask for help.

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:22:05

We can't do this alone, we got to do this together or be part

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:22:08

of a group or you know even be okay to ask for a licenced

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:22:11

mental health therapist to talk about your problems. I mean,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:22:14

back in our culture that's considered shameful. They think

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:22:17

something's wrong with us if we go do that, but there's nothing

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:22:19

wrong with that, like we all we all need to work on our mental

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:22:22

health.

Howard Brown: 00:22:23

So this is this is why you're here. It's my guests.

Howard Brown: 00:22:27

Because everything you're speaking of, I pull out themes

Howard Brown: 00:22:30

in my memoir. My book isn't isn't a two time cancer book. My

Howard Brown: 00:22:34

book is a life guide to living a resilient life with hope. And

Howard Brown: 00:22:39

the themes I pull out is that survivorship we're all trying to

Howard Brown: 00:22:42

survive something surviving life, surviving work, surviving

Howard Brown: 00:22:46

relationships, surviving health. And then the the point about

Howard Brown: 00:22:50

taking help, it allows someone else to give you that

Howard Brown: 00:22:52

perspective, the blind spot, but also it makes them feel good,

Howard Brown: 00:22:56

and helps lift you up. And my theme is that you have to lift

Howard Brown: 00:23:00

yourself up. And this is what you are doing for yourself and

Howard Brown: 00:23:03

Asian women. And once you actually are doing the self

Howard Brown: 00:23:06

care, the self love the confidence building, then you

Howard Brown: 00:23:08

can actually lift up others. And that's what I love that you're

Howard Brown: 00:23:11

doing. And then we joined together like we are doing, and

Howard Brown: 00:23:14

we shine brightly all over the world to make this world a

Howard Brown: 00:23:16

better place. And that's why our themes are so related. And you

Howard Brown: 00:23:20

wouldn't look at that right away and see that but I'm telling you

Howard Brown: 00:23:24

that this is I see that. And I have guides on on my website on

Howard Brown: 00:23:28

survivorship on mentorship is leadership on interfaith, and

Howard Brown: 00:23:32

why interfaith relations of knowing the other. And this is

Howard Brown: 00:23:35

all very common. And I think that's what you're doing as

Howard Brown: 00:23:37

well. So I'm really just this, I'm all excited to get even

Howard Brown: 00:23:42

further into your book. And so what is next with you now, all

Howard Brown: 00:23:46

of a sudden, you've got the book, the book tour, you're

Howard Brown: 00:23:48

speaking, you're coaching and also you're got the podcast,

Howard Brown: 00:23:53

you're busy? What's the what's the future, like the rest of the

Howard Brown: 00:23:56

year? What do you mean, your book every week?

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:23:59

I don't know, it's so funny when people ask me

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:24:02

that, because it's like, you know, I just, I'm just like, you

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:24:07

know, go wherever, wherever the wind takes me, that's a good

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:24:11

answer. But like, you know, whatever opportunities arise,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:24:15

you know, I just go for it, right? And sometimes, you know,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:24:19

we, we want to plan our five year plan or a 10 year plan.

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:24:23

There's nothing wrong with that, which is great, right? But

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:24:27

sometimes we get so consumed that we forget to like really

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:24:31

live in the moment. And so, I've I've been in this journey for so

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:24:36

long. And for me, it's always like, you know, what, can I do

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:24:40

better? Right? What can I do better being able to ask the

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:24:44

right questions, and then those right questions will lead me to

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:24:49

that answer. So I know that's probably like, like woowoo or

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:24:53

whatever. But yeah, like, you know, just really excited for

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:24:57

what's to come. Being able to have a book that really touches

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:25:01

on Asian women in leadership. And then just keep going keep

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:25:06

that message going. Keep speaking up. Keep showing and

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:25:09

others what's possible because a lot of people like you mentioned

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:25:14

need hold need something to you know have their light back on

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:25:18

right their light has been so dim for so long. They just need

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:25:23

something to show them what's possible while you're showing

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:25:27

them and you're the wind blew you onto the shining brightly

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:25:31

podcast today. So I'm so excited. So this is a part of

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:25:35

the show we call the shining brightly spotlight. Nice Sheena,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:25:39

what are we going to do is I'd love for you to tell my audience

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:25:44

that's listening and watching how best to get a hold of you. I

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:25:48

heard you actually have a really cool giveaway. And then I want

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:25:52

to give you the last, you know, final word of the show and then

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:25:57

kick it over to me and we'll we'll do a wrap. Sounds good.

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:26:01

Well, first off, if you want to connect with me, you can go to

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:26:05

my website, www dot SheenaYapchan.com I have a free

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:26:09

quiz where you can unlock your self confidence personality. So

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:26:13

you know, it's about five questions, you can get the

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:26:17

results right away. For the book The Tao of self confidence. You

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:26:22

can purchase a copy on Amazon Barnes and Noble Indigo all the

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:26:26

major book retailers. So you can pick up a copy. And it's

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:26:30

available on Kindle hardcover and audio for my podcast, the

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:26:34

Tao of self confidence that is available on all major

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:26:38

podcasting platforms. So Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google, play

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:26:42

Amazon, tonnes of episodes that you can binge listen to have

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:26:46

over 800 episodes. And then for my social media, you know, if

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:26:51

you look up Sheena Yap Chan, I'm literally the only Sinead chan

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:26:55

on the internet. So not hard to find. You'll see all my social

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:27:00

medias, tick tock Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, I'm

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:27:04

all there you are. So give me give me a final word. As we, as

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:27:08

you take the show to a wrap. Yeah, for sure. So I was, you

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:27:12

know, sharing a post today. And, you know, I was talking about,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:27:17

you know, I was like thinking what, what would be a really

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:27:21

great message today, right? And so I saw something on Google.

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:27:25

And it just made a lot of sense, right? And so for anyone who's

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:27:30

there, man or woman, but it's geared towards women, of course,

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:27:34

there's a strong woman in all of us, right? Sometimes we feel

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:27:38

like we're so weak because of how we perceive ourselves. But

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:27:43

the moment when we believe in our capabilities, we believe we

Sheena Yap Chan: 00:27:47

can go out there and make things happen. You know, we are strong,

Howard Brown: 00:27:49

I love that. That's, that's incredible. Thank

Howard Brown: 00:27:51

you. So, again, this is Howard Brown, you can reach me at

Howard Brown: 00:27:51

we are strong, right? It's just how we perceive ourselves is

Howard Brown: 00:27:55

shining brightly.com. And, obviously, there's my speaking

Howard Brown: 00:27:56

what's stopping us. We have that strength inside us. It's just

Howard Brown: 00:27:58

the podcasts, the book. There's stuff on cancer. I've lots of

Howard Brown: 00:28:00

learning to work on ourselves, work on how work on our mindset,

Howard Brown: 00:28:02

other guests on lots of podcasts. So lots of

Howard Brown: 00:28:05

you know, be able to realise, you know, how much how much we

Howard Brown: 00:28:05

information. I'm always interactive. So please reach out

Howard Brown: 00:28:08

to me there. And just remember that shining brightly just a

Howard Brown: 00:28:09

can put out into the world, especially as women women are

Howard Brown: 00:28:12

little bit each day for ourselves, for others and for

Howard Brown: 00:28:13

amazing, you know, we, you know, we we've gone through hell and

Howard Brown: 00:28:15

our communities does make the world a better place. chinny

Howard Brown: 00:28:17

back, still going through hell and back and we're still here.

Howard Brown: 00:28:19

chin, you've been an amazing guest. I wish you all the best.

Howard Brown: 00:28:22

We're not giving up. We're not taking no for an answer. We're

Howard Brown: 00:28:22

I will support you and help you just shine your light everywhere

Howard Brown: 00:28:26

gonna keep moving forward. So just from my reminder, there's a

Howard Brown: 00:28:26

because it's such an important message. Thank you. Thank you

Howard Brown: 00:28:30

for being great guest

Howard Brown: 00:28:30

strong woman in all of us.