SURVIVING – PURELY OUT OF SPITE With Carl And Melissa Boehm

Howard Brown: 00:00:06

Hello, it's Howard Brown. It's the Shining Brightly

Howard Brown: 00:00:08

Show. It is shining so brightly because I have the most amazing

Howard Brown: 00:00:13

guests with the most inspirational stories ever and

Howard Brown: 00:00:15

today is no different. It is amazing. Welcome Carl and

Howard Brown: 00:00:20

Melissa Boehm. I'm so pleased to be with you. And we're going to

Howard Brown: 00:00:24

chat it up. How are you? Good. How are you?

Mellisa Boehl: 00:00:27

Good.

Howard Brown: 00:00:36

issa

Mellisa Boehl: 00:00:42

Well, I'll be learners, or you're gonna go

Mellisa Boehl: 00:00:44

first at a motorcycle dealership, and I couldn't see

Mellisa Boehl: 00:00:49

the showroom. But I can hear this voice over my cubicle wall.

Mellisa Boehl: 00:00:53

So. So I went, I popped my head up like a little prairie dog and

Mellisa Boehl: 00:00:59

had to go see who was at the counter speaking to the owner.

Mellisa Boehl: 00:01:03

And I started to just listen. And then he got the job. And

Mellisa Boehl: 00:01:08

then I couldn't stand him for a very long time. He was cocky. He

Mellisa Boehl: 00:01:12

was arrogant. I could not stand him and he tried like heck to

Mellisa Boehl: 00:01:15

get me to go out with them. And I said, Nope. And he said he'd

Mellisa Boehl: 00:01:19

never been turned out in his life. I said, Welcome to dating

Mellisa Boehl: 00:01:21

a woman.

Carl Boehl: 00:01:23

I had never been turned out.

Howard Brown: 00:01:25

Wow. So Oh, my God knew that. He said, No, you'll

Howard Brown: 00:01:30

get your chance. You'll get your chance. You'll get your chance.

Howard Brown: 00:01:33

Oh my god. So I didn't see that comment. All right. But you got

Howard Brown: 00:01:37

this booming voice. I mean, it's, you know, for radio. I

Howard Brown: 00:01:40

mean, it's got amazing voice. All right. So, Carl, you are

Howard Brown: 00:01:45

very you noticed her there was an attraction, but you got you

Howard Brown: 00:01:49

got kind of, you know, crashed and burned, man.

Carl Boehl: 00:01:52

You know, it was like the weirdest thing. I saw

Carl Boehl: 00:01:55

this tall, beautiful. vixen stand up and from behind this

Carl Boehl: 00:02:01

wall, and somehow inside of a building God part of the clouds

Carl Boehl: 00:02:06

and shining this light of like, Oh, hello, yeah. And I was I

Carl Boehl: 00:02:13

died. She knocked my socks off. She had a boyfriend at the time.

Carl Boehl: 00:02:16

I heard they were on the rocks a little bit. And I was like,

Carl Boehl: 00:02:18

here's the time when I swoop in real quick. And that makes me

Carl Boehl: 00:02:23

sound kind of bad. I've normally never do that. But this woman

Carl Boehl: 00:02:26

was like something else to me. So I was like, Listen, I got

Carl Boehl: 00:02:29

this, I got the chance to hurt away from the rocks. I was like,

Carl Boehl: 00:02:32

give me a chance. You know, let's go on a date. This week.

Carl Boehl: 00:02:34

I'm taken to dinner. And when I say laughed in my face, I mean,

Carl Boehl: 00:02:38

she literally laughed into my face like I've never had, I was

Carl Boehl: 00:02:44

like, Absolutely not. And then a few weeks roll by. And then I

Carl Boehl: 00:02:49

was like, come on, I said you give me one chance, you will not

Carl Boehl: 00:02:53

regret this, I promise you, I will show you the real me

Carl Boehl: 00:02:56

outside of these walls. And lo and behold, we go on our first

Carl Boehl: 00:03:00

date that happened to be with like, six or 10 of my

Carl Boehl: 00:03:06

girlfriends that I went to high school with not actual

Carl Boehl: 00:03:09

girlfriend, but like very close female friends that I've had for

Carl Boehl: 00:03:12

a very long time. And they all loved her. And she loved all

Carl Boehl: 00:03:16

them. And it was mutual respect and love. And I knew from the

Carl Boehl: 00:03:19

first I knew before we went on the date that I loved her. And

Carl Boehl: 00:03:22

that sounds crazy, but I already knew, like I was like, if I ever

Carl Boehl: 00:03:26

get a chance and people used to laugh me because they were you

Carl Boehl: 00:03:29

know, you know, they left me but I was like if I ever gonna

Carl Boehl: 00:03:32

change that woman. I would never squander it. And I honestly

Carl Boehl: 00:03:36

never have do this.

Mellisa Boehl: 00:03:37

There we are 10 years later,

Carl Boehl: 00:03:39

nine years later,

Howard Brown: 00:03:40

amen. Amen. So, you know, it's funny because

Howard Brown: 00:03:43

that happened to me. Alright, I'm coming off a cancer one

Howard Brown: 00:03:45

rehabilitating myself. And I see Lisa across the room, and I say

Howard Brown: 00:03:49

I'm gonna marry that girl. I told the guys like, What are you

Howard Brown: 00:03:51

talking about? You don't even know her. And 29 years later,

Howard Brown: 00:03:54

right known for 31 Now, it's an amazing thing when you know, you

Howard Brown: 00:03:58

know,

Carl Boehl: 00:03:59

I literally just knew, I mean, I was like out in

Carl Boehl: 00:04:02

the world do my thing mid to late 20s like out here just

Carl Boehl: 00:04:05

getting it. And sure enough, she knocked me off. She slapped me I

Carl Boehl: 00:04:12

couldn't believe it. I've never ever ever had a woman hit me

Carl Boehl: 00:04:16

like lightning before. I was just like, awestruck like oh my

Carl Boehl: 00:04:20

god who is this woman?

Howard Brown: 00:04:23

And he was a little more convincing obviously

Howard Brown: 00:04:25

so that's all right.

Mellisa Boehl: 00:04:28

Work to show me who he really was

Carl Boehl: 00:04:30

so bad when I said to her for her boyfriend but

Carl Boehl: 00:04:32

this do a live one five states away. They weren't even really

Carl Boehl: 00:04:35

dating. It wasn't like I was I like swept in like an eagle and

Carl Boehl: 00:04:39

just took her you know.

Howard Brown: 00:04:41

I love it. Alright, so let's but we're

Howard Brown: 00:04:44

gonna change up a little bit. I gotta set the tone here because

Howard Brown: 00:04:46

you've been through some tough stuff. So record rip. RIP and

Howard Brown: 00:04:51

rip tater chip. We're gonna hit it. We're gonna hit I love this.

Howard Brown: 00:04:54

Your energy is just, we're gonna amazing Alright, so I gotta read

Howard Brown: 00:04:58

a couple of this because this is like Okay, witness what got me

Howard Brown: 00:05:01

when we got introduced? Oh, we got a shout out to Shannon

Howard Brown: 00:05:04

Costello because she, we love you. We love Shannon. She's a

Howard Brown: 00:05:09

stage two colorectal cancer survivor, Mom of boys and great

Howard Brown: 00:05:14

person. She's awesome. So big shout out. All right, so here's

Howard Brown: 00:05:18

the call on your 38th birthday. You're a young man, you had

Howard Brown: 00:05:21

what's called the grand mal seizure. And your wife rushed

Howard Brown: 00:05:24

you to the hospital. Okay. And they found it says three peach

Howard Brown: 00:05:31

size tumours on your brain?

Carl Boehl: 00:05:33

Well, that was actually a mistake. There was a

Carl Boehl: 00:05:35

one three inch pizza size.

Howard Brown: 00:05:38

Alright, so you had you but still it's a big

Howard Brown: 00:05:40

tumour in your brain. Okay. Yeah. And then it shifted your

Howard Brown: 00:05:44

centre line a quarter inch bent, then you actually had to have

Howard Brown: 00:05:46

some pre ops. And you basically had no short term memory. And if

Howard Brown: 00:05:54

you say your last three years of your life, wow. And even, you

Howard Brown: 00:05:58

know, you're still dealing with you know, looking at pictures.

Howard Brown: 00:06:00

You don't remember you got this brain fog. I have it chemo

Howard Brown: 00:06:03

brain. It's PTSD. And, but there you are. You're just blacked

Howard Brown: 00:06:07

out. And thank God she took you in. It's really important. It's

Howard Brown: 00:06:13

important. And so most I'm gonna start with you first. I mean,

Howard Brown: 00:06:17

you found him at work.

Mellisa Boehl: 00:06:19

No, we were at home. I had gotten up to get

Mellisa Boehl: 00:06:22

ready for work. He had fallen asleep in the other room. And I

Mellisa Boehl: 00:06:26

came in it was his birthday. So I I just left him to sleep at

Mellisa Boehl: 00:06:28

night and I came in to wake him up wish him happy birthday. And

Mellisa Boehl: 00:06:32

I found him just after he had had a seizure. He couldn't talk.

Mellisa Boehl: 00:06:37

He couldn't move. All he could do was shake his head yesterday

Mellisa Boehl: 00:06:39

to answer my questions that I was asking him. And he he would

Mellisa Boehl: 00:06:44

just completely out of it. He was posturing. His arm was like

Mellisa Boehl: 00:06:48

this. And so he would be very combative. So I didn't call 911.

Mellisa Boehl: 00:06:54

I got it. I got got him up, got him ready, got it got him into

Mellisa Boehl: 00:06:57

the car. He finally came to a little bit of a

Carl Boehl: 00:07:00

Google research and hospitals where their star

Carl Boehl: 00:07:02

reviews. It's amazing that you thought like

Howard Brown: 00:07:05

You're a big guy. I mean, again, you actually got

Howard Brown: 00:07:08

him to take a few steps and get him into the

Mellisa Boehl: 00:07:10

coffee. I gave him a few minutes. I sat here

Mellisa Boehl: 00:07:12

and stared at him for a minute and then I figured if he came to

Mellisa Boehl: 00:07:15

he probably would be weirded out by that. So I just kept coming.

Mellisa Boehl: 00:07:18

As I was getting stuff gathered up to take to go to hospital. He

Mellisa Boehl: 00:07:21

started to come around a little bit. I got him into my jeep.

Mellisa Boehl: 00:07:24

Forgot masks ran back in and by the time I was coming back out

Mellisa Boehl: 00:07:28

within three seconds, he was already getting out of my jeep

Mellisa Boehl: 00:07:30

and trying to get back into the house. He had no idea what was

Mellisa Boehl: 00:07:32

going on. He didn't know what where we were going even though

Mellisa Boehl: 00:07:35

he had agreed to go to the hospital. And he was trying to

Mellisa Boehl: 00:07:39

get back in the house. He's like, where are we going?

Carl Boehl: 00:07:41

Then she got me Howard. She

Mellisa Boehl: 00:07:42

got I made him shake on it. I said we're going

Mellisa Boehl: 00:07:45

to the hospital this man even in psychoses won't back out of a

Mellisa Boehl: 00:07:51

handshake. So I got him to the hospital. And that's how I said

Mellisa Boehl: 00:07:54

You shook on it. And he agreed he pushed every button literally

Mellisa Boehl: 00:07:57

in my on my radio on the way there. It was like a six year

Mellisa Boehl: 00:08:01

old, just completely ridiculous. And he's like, where are we

Mellisa Boehl: 00:08:06

gone? Why? Why he had no concept of any thing that he didn't

Mellisa Boehl: 00:08:09

remember what happened to him?

Howard Brown: 00:08:11

Yeah, we do dumb stuff. My blood pressure went

Howard Brown: 00:08:13

like 247 over 150 and I drove myself to the emergency room we

Howard Brown: 00:08:18

do dumb stuff probably should have called 911. But you gotta

Unknown: 00:08:21

you know what's crazy is that I fell asleep one day.

Unknown: 00:08:25

And I woke up like three years later. And I was like what has

Unknown: 00:08:29

happened to my life.

Unknown: 00:08:30

He was fine. The night before he was he was he was some seemingly

Unknown: 00:08:34

normal but like I literally think

Carl Boehl: 00:08:37

there was a couple of things that led us directly

Carl Boehl: 00:08:39

into this though. So the Sunday before my birthday was on a

Carl Boehl: 00:08:42

Wednesday. So the Sunday before my birthday, we had got ticket

Carl Boehl: 00:08:45

to go to Chicago, the musical in Detroit. I stood up in the first

Carl Boehl: 00:08:52

or second act right in the middle of the afternoon, my wife

Carl Boehl: 00:08:54

threw money in her face and said, My Ubers here, I'm bored.

Carl Boehl: 00:08:59

I'm bored and walked out. And I would obviously never ever leave

Carl Boehl: 00:09:06

my wife in Detroit ever, because that's not something we do. And

Carl Boehl: 00:09:09

then I leaned over in front of her desk as I was walking

Carl Boehl: 00:09:12

through the office one day and I said, I'm gonna squeeze I'm

Carl Boehl: 00:09:15

gonna squeeze my brains out. I'm screaming. And the telltale sign

Carl Boehl: 00:09:20

was I wore a collared shirt in to my place of business

Carl Boehl: 00:09:24

backwards. And the GM I remember I remember this kind of like a

Carl Boehl: 00:09:28

little bit. I remember that he came over my desk two or three

Carl Boehl: 00:09:31

different times and was like, Hey, man, are you okay? And I

Carl Boehl: 00:09:33

was like, everything's fine. Like, leave me alone. And then

Carl Boehl: 00:09:36

the fourth time he came over, I threw my fist on my desk and I

Carl Boehl: 00:09:40

was like, What are you talking about? And he's like, Carl, are

Carl Boehl: 00:09:44

you fucking with me? And you said you're wearing your

Carl Boehl: 00:09:47

collared shirt backwards. Still in defiance? I pull my arms out

Carl Boehl: 00:09:51

of my shirt and I spin it around, and I realised that he's

Carl Boehl: 00:09:54

right. And I snatched my keys off my desk and I walked out of

Carl Boehl: 00:09:58

there was like, I don't know went home.

Mellisa Boehl: 00:10:00

But he didn't know how to get home. We live

Mellisa Boehl: 00:10:01

five miles from where we were when I couldn't get home and

Mellisa Boehl: 00:10:04

know how to get home.

Carl Boehl: 00:10:05

I couldn't get to work or from work. I was driving

Carl Boehl: 00:10:07

to Ann Arbour where I used to work for like five years, I was

Carl Boehl: 00:10:10

getting like halfway to in arbour going, Oh, my God, I

Carl Boehl: 00:10:12

don't work here anymore, and then driving all the way back to

Carl Boehl: 00:10:15

Lavonia like I would leave an hour early for work and be 10

Carl Boehl: 00:10:20

minutes late. Yeah. And it's a 10 minute drive.

Howard Brown: 00:10:23

So these are some telltale signs and things like

Howard Brown: 00:10:25

that. So you enter into the emergency room, and they're all

Howard Brown: 00:10:31

there and they take you in what happens next.

Mellisa Boehl: 00:10:34

They started to run some tests on they did they

Mellisa Boehl: 00:10:37

did blood work, and then they did a CT scan. And they came

Mellisa Boehl: 00:10:40

back and said there was a mask. We didn't know what it was. So

Mellisa Boehl: 00:10:43

then they scheduled the MRI and they took them down for the MRI.

Mellisa Boehl: 00:10:46

And that's when they came back, started shaking and back and

Mellisa Boehl: 00:10:49

told us that he has a huge tumour in his brain. The centre

Mellisa Boehl: 00:10:52

line of his brain was over here. So the tumour was almost to the

Mellisa Boehl: 00:10:55

left side of his brain. And his mother was there with us. And so

Mellisa Boehl: 00:11:02

we were just trying to process what they were saying. And then

Mellisa Boehl: 00:11:06

they actually sent him to by ambulance to a different

Mellisa Boehl: 00:11:09

hospital, one row of Beaumont did actually do the Korean

Mellisa Boehl: 00:11:12

economy, because where I took him was just a smaller hospital.

Mellisa Boehl: 00:11:14

So they weren't they didn't have the technology to do the

Mellisa Boehl: 00:11:16

craniotomy. So they transferred him there. And then that's when

Mellisa Boehl: 00:11:20

the surgery took place.

Howard Brown: 00:11:21

Same day.

Mellisa Boehl: 00:11:22

No, they actually scheduled it for the next day.

Mellisa Boehl: 00:11:26

But then they tried to push it back a day and my best friend

Mellisa Boehl: 00:11:29

and I went crazy

Carl Boehl: 00:11:30

on they actually had to take a day and show her how

Carl Boehl: 00:11:33

to move my arms and legs because they expected me to be paralysed

Carl Boehl: 00:11:36

from the neck down for the rest of my life. Yeah, yeah. So they

Carl Boehl: 00:11:39

showed her how to basically be like my caretaker for an entire

Carl Boehl: 00:11:42

day for an entire day before they were going back because

Carl Boehl: 00:11:45

they expect me to come out and be paralysed. And then she comes

Carl Boehl: 00:11:49

to sheet like we're talking one minute follows up one minute,

Carl Boehl: 00:11:53

Oh, stop. They were expecting me to be paralysed from the neck

Carl Boehl: 00:11:55

down for the rest of my life. And she said, Then, all these

Carl Boehl: 00:11:58

people run laughing and shit. And she comes in to the room and

Carl Boehl: 00:12:02

I was doing wheelies in my wheelchair, and she looks at the

Carl Boehl: 00:12:04

doctor and goes, well, he's not paralysed. He's like, Well, I

Carl Boehl: 00:12:08

guess not. Like, surgeon, we met by a surgeon, Dr. Jacobs, who

Carl Boehl: 00:12:14

are our first name dropping, we're not, but we've never had a

Carl Boehl: 00:12:16

surgeon. And he was like, he was like, like testing my arm

Carl Boehl: 00:12:19

strength testing my leg strength and was like, looking at my

Carl Boehl: 00:12:22

face. And like, you know, like, you're really he's like, here's

Carl Boehl: 00:12:27

your strong. And I'm like, Yeah, I always have been. He's like,

Carl Boehl: 00:12:29

No, you're like, really strong. And I'm like, you say it, like I

Carl Boehl: 00:12:32

shouldn't be. He's like, we don't have any faith grouping or

Carl Boehl: 00:12:35

anything. And I'm like, Yeah, then you actually say, hey,

Carl Boehl: 00:12:37

Alison, like I showed her face paralysis. And he's like, You

Carl Boehl: 00:12:41

should. He's like, we cut out a big movement portion of your

Carl Boehl: 00:12:44

brain. You should have weakness in one side of your body or

Carl Boehl: 00:12:46

something. He goes your frickin freak. I'm like, I'll take that.

Carl Boehl: 00:12:50

I'm a little freakish.

Howard Brown: 00:12:51

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's Oh, my God. So that that

Howard Brown: 00:12:56

surgery, you stayed in the hospital a little time and then

Howard Brown: 00:12:58

did you have to do any rehab or a couple

Carl Boehl: 00:13:00

Couple of days? No,

Mellisa Boehl: 00:13:01

rehab was amazing. walk the halls with a

Mellisa Boehl: 00:13:04

walker. And then he didn't need it. So we just started picking

Mellisa Boehl: 00:13:07

it up and carrying it and they were laughing at him. But but he

Mellisa Boehl: 00:13:10

was a terrible patient because he was in front of the he wasn't

Mellisa Boehl: 00:13:13

the end of the hallway. They had to move in front of the nurse's

Mellisa Boehl: 00:13:15

station. He kept ripping us out.

Carl Boehl: 00:13:17

My IV looks great, right?

Mellisa Boehl: 00:13:20

Yeah, he ripped his catheter out. He Oh,

Mellisa Boehl: 00:13:23

everything. Oh, so they had to move him on his bed. I had to

Mellisa Boehl: 00:13:28

stand that his bed for six hours when they tried to get out of

Mellisa Boehl: 00:13:32

the bed.

Howard Brown: 00:13:32

Oh, you are a troublemaker Carl, you are just

Howard Brown: 00:13:35

a troublemaker, man.

Carl Boehl: 00:13:37

Oh, catheter was worse. Howard.

Howard Brown: 00:13:39

I know. I've been. I've been there. So alright,

Howard Brown: 00:13:42

Carl, this is for you. What is your driving force?

Carl Boehl: 00:13:46

Honestly, it's my support system. Now obviously, I

Carl Boehl: 00:13:49

myself feel like I deserve to live. That is my that is I'm

Carl Boehl: 00:13:54

fighting for myself above and beyond everything else. For my

Carl Boehl: 00:13:57

obviously my wife and myself and our wives together. That is my

Carl Boehl: 00:14:01

driving force. But really, it's my support system. I can't even

Carl Boehl: 00:14:05

tell you the people that have come out of the woodwork. And

Carl Boehl: 00:14:07

just like, friends wise, I put on my fundraiser like Lauren and

Carl Boehl: 00:14:12

Katie, we love you too. I can't even like we had her best friend

Carl Boehl: 00:14:17

and their husband put on a GoFundMe for like, we haven't

Carl Boehl: 00:14:20

done anything to for any of these events, or any of these

Carl Boehl: 00:14:22

things that happen. These people have just done this. And it's

Carl Boehl: 00:14:25

freaking. I mean, it's the most touching thing in the world and

Carl Boehl: 00:14:29

they with their support. With everybody's support coming in

Carl Boehl: 00:14:32

like this. I'm able to take a little bit of time off work and

Carl Boehl: 00:14:35

I can breathe a little bit easy. And I can pay for my

Carl Boehl: 00:14:37

chemotherapy medication without having to kill myself working

Carl Boehl: 00:14:40

5060 hours a week trying to just make ends meet, just to pay my

Carl Boehl: 00:14:44

chemo medication.

Howard Brown: 00:14:46

Right. I have to tell you so one of the things

Howard Brown: 00:14:48

that that you saw is that in your time of need, people came,

Howard Brown: 00:14:54

they came. They it was time to be selfish, and they came for

Howard Brown: 00:14:58

you and you I can tell it because you are grateful for

Howard Brown: 00:15:02

that because it's helped. And it just shows you that there is

Howard Brown: 00:15:05

love in the world. There is care.

Carl Boehl: 00:15:08

Yeah, I didn't realise how much I had touched

Carl Boehl: 00:15:10

people's lives and inspired people. And then once I started

Carl Boehl: 00:15:15

making my videos, and you know, doing so well through radiation,

Carl Boehl: 00:15:19

like I'm not joking, I was gassing up 89 year old people

Carl Boehl: 00:15:22

that were going through radiation, I'm like, go. I'm

Carl Boehl: 00:15:27

telling you, it went from being a bad thing that people were

Carl Boehl: 00:15:31

telling me, you know, this, you know, like, like, Miss Garcia

Carl Boehl: 00:15:34

used to bring her her granddaughter and her

Carl Boehl: 00:15:36

granddaughter was like, at her on her last day, they gave me a

Carl Boehl: 00:15:40

card. And I'm like, I'm not supposed to be a yellow card.

Carl Boehl: 00:15:44

And they were like, she was like, I want to let you know

Carl Boehl: 00:15:46

that you have absolutely changed his experience. We went from

Carl Boehl: 00:15:49

absolutely being scared and dreading this on our first day

Carl Boehl: 00:15:52

to meeting you and looking forward to coming and doing this

Carl Boehl: 00:15:55

on a daily basis. And they she's like, you've been her shining

Carl Boehl: 00:15:58

light and all this darkness. And my grandma loves you. And I love

Carl Boehl: 00:16:01

you. And we're here. Don't open it till July 7, we're dark

Carl Boehl: 00:16:04

radiation. We were like, Oh my God. Like we made such good

Carl Boehl: 00:16:09

friends and radiation that we like, still talk to them on

Carl Boehl: 00:16:11

almost a daily basis.

Howard Brown: 00:16:13

People it's that you let them in and they it's

Howard Brown: 00:16:16

amazing. But Carl, you're like a big teddy bear. You're such a

Howard Brown: 00:16:19

cheerleader. You're so high energy and you're still rooting

Howard Brown: 00:16:22

other people on even though you're going through, you know,

Howard Brown: 00:16:24

the toughest thing that's ever happened to you. So your tickets

Howard Brown: 00:16:29

through so post-operation, what's different? What do you

Howard Brown: 00:16:33

have to do different anything?

Carl Boehl: 00:16:34

I tell you what post operation I got a really good

Carl Boehl: 00:16:37

kind of like poem that I read and it says And it goes

Carl Boehl: 00:16:41

something like this I'm paraphrasing or something like

Carl Boehl: 00:16:44

this brain tumour, you know, I hate you. Because I may never

Carl Boehl: 00:16:54

know a day where I don't have to take a pill and may never know a

Carl Boehl: 00:16:58

day where I don't have a headache. But at the end of the

Carl Boehl: 00:17:00

day tumour, thank you for showing me how resilient I can

Carl Boehl: 00:17:05

be and what kind of fighter I truly am. So that's kind of

Carl Boehl: 00:17:09

that's kind of how I look at it. You know, I don't I'll take

Carl Boehl: 00:17:12

multivitamins, magnesium nootropics I'll take Tylenol.

Carl Boehl: 00:17:16

I'll take every single one of them every single day from here

Carl Boehl: 00:17:19

on out if I get another 20 3040 years on his body

Mellisa Boehl: 00:17:21

he appreciates like more now and family and to

Mellisa Boehl: 00:17:24

call myself crazy Carl

Carl Boehl: 00:17:26

2.0 I literally am. It's like It's like It's like

Carl Boehl: 00:17:30

this tumour has been pushed on my brain. And it's been killing

Carl Boehl: 00:17:33

my sense of self preservation. And I've been a wild child. I

Carl Boehl: 00:17:37

mean, it's like, Hey, Carl Hawk, this snowmobile off this 40 foot

Carl Boehl: 00:17:41

cliff. I'm like, Oh, for sure. No problem. Do it. No questions

Carl Boehl: 00:17:44

asked.

Howard Brown: 00:17:45

I want to tell you that I just got like, shivers

Howard Brown: 00:17:49

when you read that poem, because that's deep and it's meaningful,

Howard Brown: 00:17:53

and it's intentional, and it's authentic and I loved it. And

Howard Brown: 00:17:57

I'm going to actually include it in the show notes because it's

Howard Brown: 00:18:00

so strong. And it really is and listen, you are carl.to Dotto.

Howard Brown: 00:18:08

I'm Humpty Dumpty dot two Dotto. And it shows you that we can get

Howard Brown: 00:18:13

back up again. Okay, after major life threatening, you know,

Howard Brown: 00:18:19

stopping in our tracks and putting the pieces back together

Howard Brown: 00:18:22

again. And so where are you at today? What how is how are you

Howard Brown: 00:18:27

today? Emotionally, physically the

Carl Boehl: 00:18:30

weirdest thing in the world? Do you know what it's

Carl Boehl: 00:18:33

like to be a cancer patient and feel like a cancer survivor

Carl Boehl: 00:18:38

because that's how I feel. I almost feel guilty right now.

Carl Boehl: 00:18:42

Because I feel like I have survivor's guilt, but I'm still

Carl Boehl: 00:18:45

going through it. I tell you what, let me drop this bomb on

Carl Boehl: 00:18:49

you real quick. This is really really really good news and we

Carl Boehl: 00:18:52

just got it literally on Wednesday. Okay, my tumours

Carl Boehl: 00:18:55

shrinking? Yeah. We killed all the new growth. We killed all

Carl Boehl: 00:19:00

the new growth and we 50% Right the new tumour. My doctor, my

Carl Boehl: 00:19:05

oncologist and my doctors told me chemo is not going to kill

Carl Boehl: 00:19:09

this chemo is not killing it. I think what's making a difference

Carl Boehl: 00:19:13

for me is cold plunging. I torture my body I go to the gym,

Carl Boehl: 00:19:17

I workout I torture my body then I dip it in 4540 to 50 degree

Carl Boehl: 00:19:23

water on between three and four days a week three to five days a

Carl Boehl: 00:19:27

week for five to seven minutes every time we every time we do

Carl Boehl: 00:19:31

it.

Howard Brown: 00:19:32

First of all, let's honour that because I

Howard Brown: 00:19:34

always I made a little bit of a joke when I got some shrinkage

Howard Brown: 00:19:37

from George Costanza on Seinfeld. shrinkage is good for

Howard Brown: 00:19:42

us. We like shrinkage

Carl Boehl: 00:19:43

he won't let me talk about the shrinkage of both

Carl Boehl: 00:19:47

things, you know?

Howard Brown: 00:19:49

happen but anyways, you're gonna get

Howard Brown: 00:19:51

banned. So I have to tell you, we each have our own way and

Howard Brown: 00:19:55

things so I go on the basketball court I played for two hours

Howard Brown: 00:19:58

this morning. I'm the old guy You know, and I played great and

Howard Brown: 00:20:01

I got my sweat. I didn't get hurt. But I love it because you

Howard Brown: 00:20:04

found that these cold plunges, okay? Are Changing you

Howard Brown: 00:20:08

physically and emotionally, and you're dedicated to it. You're

Howard Brown: 00:20:11

dedicated to it. And I love that because anything that works, and

Howard Brown: 00:20:16

you believe it works, it works and it worked and it works. I

Howard Brown: 00:20:20

told

Carl Boehl: 00:20:20

people in radiation, I told people this, the power of

Carl Boehl: 00:20:23

the mind is incredible. I said, I'm telling you right now, going

Carl Boehl: 00:20:27

into radiation is going to be light work. It's not going to

Carl Boehl: 00:20:29

affect me at all. Sure enough, me and my wife going to

Carl Boehl: 00:20:32

radiation. It was light work. And it was nothing at all. I

Carl Boehl: 00:20:35

told my wife chemo is gonna be nothing. It's just a couple

Carl Boehl: 00:20:37

pills. Boom, there we go. Go to bed buys you buy and chemo has

Carl Boehl: 00:20:41

been nothing. So far. Chemo grew my air back where I lost them

Carl Boehl: 00:20:44

from radiation. I didn't get sick. I didn't throw up. I never

Carl Boehl: 00:20:48

got physically fatigued, I was never fatigued. It wasn't like,

Carl Boehl: 00:20:55

oh, I can go five steps. I can go 10 steps. It was like no, I

Carl Boehl: 00:20:58

bet you I could do laps around the hospital right now. Then

Carl Boehl: 00:21:01

we'll hit a badass workout chest and tricep neck and bicep grip

Carl Boehl: 00:21:04

and rip tater chip.

Howard Brown: 00:21:06

You're the Energizer Bunny. So I want to I

Howard Brown: 00:21:09

want to say that that up. So the icing is no joke because we

Howard Brown: 00:21:13

developed in colon town, okay, which is a support for patients

Howard Brown: 00:21:16

and caregivers, this icing protocol. And at first it was

Howard Brown: 00:21:19

developed to wear an ice cap to preserve your hair because chemo

Howard Brown: 00:21:23

is toxic and you lose your hair. And now that's extended to

Howard Brown: 00:21:28

wearing mittens and booties because your extremities from

Howard Brown: 00:21:32

toxic chemotherapy can actually give you peripheral neuropathy.

Howard Brown: 00:21:36

I have it and it your cold sensitivity, your numbness and

Howard Brown: 00:21:39

burning in the hands and feet to various degrees on the toxicity.

Howard Brown: 00:21:43

I believe that your cold plunging is absolutely helping I

Howard Brown: 00:21:48

no doubt no ill it's doing something it is it really is. So

Howard Brown: 00:21:52

I appreciate that now, so call it real. This is one of the

Howard Brown: 00:21:57

first times that you're sharing your story. We're going to go

Howard Brown: 00:21:59

public, we're going to spread this all over the place. What

Howard Brown: 00:22:03

keeps you going man,

Carl Boehl: 00:22:05

but you know what I tell you what it is. It is the

Carl Boehl: 00:22:08

love and support from my family. And, and really bringing

Carl Boehl: 00:22:13

everybody together. And finally, you know, and finally, and

Carl Boehl: 00:22:19

finally appreciating life on just just different differently.

Carl Boehl: 00:22:26

I wake up and I feel grateful every morning. You know? It's I

Carl Boehl: 00:22:35

like that I am living proof that no matter how bad it gets, no

Carl Boehl: 00:22:41

matter how bad it gets. I got here on shame. I dropped down

Carl Boehl: 00:22:44

me. I got pulled I had three to six months to live. And

Carl Boehl: 00:22:48

yesterday was my six month anniversary. I got told I got

Carl Boehl: 00:22:52

three to six months to live. And I took it like a savage. I lie

Carl Boehl: 00:22:57

snickered. And I said, that may be what your books say. But

Carl Boehl: 00:23:01

that's not what I'm going to show you. I'm telling you, Doc,

Carl Boehl: 00:23:04

if you want to dump on the guy to give it to you. And I think

Carl Boehl: 00:23:07

that's what really helps me push forward. Even in the face of

Carl Boehl: 00:23:12

adversity, even if even even when it's time to got to be the

Carl Boehl: 00:23:17

absolute worst. I have never my brother said, I hope that

Carl Boehl: 00:23:21

nothing bad ever happened to me, like what's happened to you? And

Carl Boehl: 00:23:24

I said, and I said why? And he said, because the way that you

Carl Boehl: 00:23:28

handled it was Savage. I'm gonna give you three words that I live

Carl Boehl: 00:23:33

literally live my life by can change it. I woke up and I was

Carl Boehl: 00:23:39

like, Oh my God, what has happened to my life? Where am I

Carl Boehl: 00:23:42

and what what the hell. And instead of kicking and screaming

Carl Boehl: 00:23:46

and throwing a fit, my brother was like, You got your brain cut

Carl Boehl: 00:23:49

out you had brain cancer. And I honestly I give myself five

Carl Boehl: 00:23:53

minutes. I give myself five minutes, I'll kick and scream

Carl Boehl: 00:23:56

and cry and throw a hole on bitch fit. And after five

Carl Boehl: 00:24:00

minutes, you have to look at yourself in the mirror and say

Carl Boehl: 00:24:02

can't change it. Me and Melissa lost a son about seven years ago

Carl Boehl: 00:24:07

together. My dad got als about three and a half years ago. All

Carl Boehl: 00:24:15

right dog just passed away dog just passed away. So don't mind.

Carl Boehl: 00:24:20

Me live our life by two models. And the two models are the

Carl Boehl: 00:24:23

strongest things you can whether you're at the top of your life

Carl Boehl: 00:24:27

and living the best life possible or at the absolute rock

Carl Boehl: 00:24:31

bottom of your life. This too shall pass. No matter how bad

Carl Boehl: 00:24:35

things get. It doesn't matter how good things are. You're not

Carl Boehl: 00:24:39

going to have the best day of your life every single day of

Carl Boehl: 00:24:41

your life and you're not going to have the worst day of your

Carl Boehl: 00:24:43

life. Every single day of your life. It's just not going to

Carl Boehl: 00:24:46

happen. So this too shall pass. Enjoy your high a feeling good

Carl Boehl: 00:24:50

and enjoy the pain of feeling bad and when you're down it take

Carl Boehl: 00:24:54

that into why do you feel bad? Can't change it and change it

Carl Boehl: 00:25:00

Doesn't matter, no matter what I have brain cancer, no matter

Carl Boehl: 00:25:04

what this is the reality of my life from here on out, they say

Carl Boehl: 00:25:08

is incurable. They say, I'll have a tumour and the cancer,

Carl Boehl: 00:25:12

the rest of my natural life. That's what they claim. I'm here

Carl Boehl: 00:25:16

to prove them wrong. Period.

Howard Brown: 00:25:19

It's, it's, you're absolutely right. So we're dealt

Howard Brown: 00:25:23

art cards, I've gotten to stage four cancer type nation at 23.

Howard Brown: 00:25:27

And then again, at 53. And I'm breathing, and I'm making the

Howard Brown: 00:25:32

most of it. And I'm lifting myself up everyday, like, like

Howard Brown: 00:25:34

you do. And then we go lift up others. And we I to look in the

Howard Brown: 00:25:40

mirror every day. And we talked about this before, when we

Howard Brown: 00:25:43

talked prior is that I look and I'm say, I am blessed. I am

Howard Brown: 00:25:47

grateful. And I am damn lucky. I know you're damn lucky. And

Howard Brown: 00:25:51

we're going to lift ourselves up so that we can go lift each

Howard Brown: 00:25:53

other up. And I have to tell you, Melissa, as a care partner,

Howard Brown: 00:25:56

you are an angel on this earth. Okay, first of all, you saved

Howard Brown: 00:25:59

his life by getting his ass to the emergency room. There's no

Howard Brown: 00:26:03

question. All right, but also, you actually gave up everything

Howard Brown: 00:26:07

to make sure that he was going to survive. You were by his

Howard Brown: 00:26:12

bedside when he's ripping out catheters. And yes, I was trying

Howard Brown: 00:26:16

to tame this tiger, which is hard to do. But you do it.

Mellisa Boehl: 00:26:19

It was a job in itself.

Howard Brown: 00:26:22

I just want to tell you that from you know, my

Howard Brown: 00:26:25

wife and my parents or my caregivers, I can see it in you.

Howard Brown: 00:26:27

You are an angel on this earth, and really is. Yeah, so. So

Howard Brown: 00:26:32

again, that's why he's still here. And that's why you are so

Howard Brown: 00:26:35

strong together. And it's really important. So

Mellisa Boehl: 00:26:38

It brought us closer together.

Carl Boehl: 00:26:40

We are an unstoppable force. Yeah, I love

Howard Brown: 00:26:43

that I see the unstoppable t shirt. And I love

Howard Brown: 00:26:46

it. So it's great. Alright, so here's the part of the show. So

Howard Brown: 00:26:49

I put on my sunglasses, because the sun is shining brightly on

Howard Brown: 00:26:53

us. And on you guys. It's really amazing. And I want people to

Howard Brown: 00:26:56

say, how did they get in touch with you? Because they hear this

Howard Brown: 00:26:59

interview? And they say, Okay, can I donate to your GoFundMe?

Howard Brown: 00:27:02

We'll put the link in the show notes. And we'll put it up

Howard Brown: 00:27:04

there. What can you help other people which of course you can.

Howard Brown: 00:27:08

All right

Carl Boehl: 00:27:08

I would love to,

Howard Brown: 00:27:09

I appreciate that. So tell people how they should

Howard Brown: 00:27:12

get a hold of you. And then I want each of you to give me some

Howard Brown: 00:27:15

final thoughts as we close out the show.

Unknown: 00:27:18

Awesome. Y'all can reach out on my on my Facebook,

Unknown: 00:27:22

I'm sure Howard Howard will provide a link, I have a tick

Unknown: 00:27:25

tock. But Facebook is pretty much the best way to get a hold

Unknown: 00:27:27

of me. You could always write me, you can always my cell

Unknown: 00:27:30

phones, right on my Facebook, you can always call me or text

Unknown: 00:27:32

me. I'm ready to talk with anybody at any point in time.

Unknown: 00:27:36

I'm very positive. And I'm really I really, really, really

Unknown: 00:27:39

truly believe that this whole thing is all about your attitude

Unknown: 00:27:44

and all about what you take away from it. If you believe this

Unknown: 00:27:48

won't be anything, I won't affect your life. I promise you

Unknown: 00:27:51

it won't. And if you believe that this is going to be

Unknown: 00:27:54

terrible, and you think woe is me, how could this happen to me?

Unknown: 00:27:58

How can this then I promise you you're fixing to have a bad

Unknown: 00:28:01

time. You have to aim up. You can't ever put one foot in the

Unknown: 00:28:06

grave and dig down. You have to aim up. When the storm comes the

Unknown: 00:28:11

little birds, they look for shelter. But the eagle flies

Unknown: 00:28:16

above the clouds fly above the clouds have a positive attitude

Unknown: 00:28:21

about this. The only thing negative is your attitude. I

Unknown: 00:28:25

promise you, any other thing can be beat with your mind. This can

Unknown: 00:28:31

be beat with your mind. I have stage four brain cancer. And I

Unknown: 00:28:36

promise you you will have my word that I will beat this 100%

Unknown: 00:28:41

They say I am 100% terminal. I have a 5% chance of living

Unknown: 00:28:46

longer than 15 months and a 1% chance living longer than 24

Unknown: 00:28:49

They say I will make my 40th birthday. I can't makewait to

Unknown: 00:28:52

eat cake with my doctor.

Howard Brown: 00:28:54

Maybe we're gonna be in some cake. Oh, wait, that

Howard Brown: 00:28:58

was strong. You brought it all right, Melissa, some final

Howard Brown: 00:29:01

thoughts from you, baby.

Unknown: 00:29:02

I can't compare to what he had to say. But surely you go

Unknown: 00:29:05

first.

Howard Brown: 00:29:07

That's all right.

Unknown: 00:29:08

Just the positivity. I mean, he actually keeps me

Unknown: 00:29:11

positive. And I tried to do the same for him. But waking up with

Unknown: 00:29:16

him every single day he lets go. You know everything is about

Unknown: 00:29:20

your mindset. Be positive, be positive for your partner,

Unknown: 00:29:23

whoever you're caring for. Be positive with them for them.

Unknown: 00:29:27

They'll do the same back to you even though they might not be

Unknown: 00:29:31

feeling great that day. It's so helpful if you keep each other up.

Carl Boehl: 00:29:33

I feel good every day though. I'm on baseball.

Howard Brown: 00:29:38

Oh my god, that energy's below that. So I want

Howard Brown: 00:29:41

to go. Let's go. Come on, coach. All right. So I just want to say

Howard Brown: 00:29:45

I am grateful to have you your energy is just I'm feeling it.

Howard Brown: 00:29:49

I'm feeling like we can go conquer a mountain together. And

Howard Brown: 00:29:53

I'm just so pleased that we're sharing your story. So for those

Howard Brown: 00:29:57

that want to get in touch with me shining brightly.com You can

Howard Brown: 00:30:01

come hear me speak, hire me to speak. Come on and check out the

Howard Brown: 00:30:05

podcast. It's actually building up an incredible following over

Howard Brown: 00:30:09

20,000 downloads now it's inspirational, as you heard

Howard Brown: 00:30:13

today live and now on recording, and then also my advocacy and

Howard Brown: 00:30:17

the book, mentoring. We're gonna get you mentoring to Carl

Howard Brown: 00:30:21

through Imerman Angels. And so remember when we you shine

Howard Brown: 00:30:25

brightly a little bit each day, which we just did for ourselves,

Howard Brown: 00:30:29

for others and our communities. The world does become a better

Howard Brown: 00:30:33

place. Thank you too, so much. So a huge, huge hug. You guys

Howard Brown: 00:30:37

are the best I love it. And we're gonna see you soon and

Howard Brown: 00:30:40

we're gonna meet up because we're back on brother we'll come

Howard Brown: 00:30:44

on an update we'll certainly get an update when I beat this Yeah,

Howard Brown: 00:30:49

you're gonna keep shining brightly everyone. Love you all.

Carl Boehl: 00:30:52

Love ya.