CLIMBING THE MOUNTAIN With Emily Brown

Howard Brown: 00:00:03

Hello. It's Howard Brown. Welcome to the Shining

Howard Brown: 00:00:06

Brightly Show. This is a very special episode. I finally got

Howard Brown: 00:00:11

my daughter Emily Brown to come on and do a podcast episode with

Howard Brown: 00:00:15

me. So Emily Brown, all the way from Missoula, Montana. How are

Howard Brown: 00:00:19

you this evening?

Emily Brown: 00:00:20

Good. How are you?

Howard Brown: 00:00:23

I'm doing great just because I'm seeing you.

Howard Brown: 00:00:26

Yeah, we see each other. So I'm excited. I mean, instead of

Howard Brown: 00:00:29

watching you on the newscast at kpax, and I now get to talk to

Howard Brown: 00:00:33

you live. So I'm very excited about that. First, I'd like you

Howard Brown: 00:00:37

to tell my my audience a little bit about you know who you are.

Emily Brown: 00:00:44

I'm your daughter.

Howard Brown: 00:00:45

Well, introduce yourself, right? Of course,

Howard Brown: 00:00:47

you're my miracle. You're my miracle girl, daughter.

Emily Brown: 00:00:50

That's true. If you read his book, that's me. But I

Emily Brown: 00:00:55

don't know I I'm gonna go out of order. But he said, How do I

Emily Brown: 00:01:00

shine brightly each day? And I think I just try my best. I

Emily Brown: 00:01:04

think I try my best to be a good person and to support other

Emily Brown: 00:01:07

people. That's kind of what I get to do at work. I'm a

Emily Brown: 00:01:11

reporter. I'm a journalist. I am a multimedia journalist. So I I

Emily Brown: 00:01:16

like being creative. I use a camera, I shoot video, I

Emily Brown: 00:01:21

interview people, and I just try to tell stories. I really like

Emily Brown: 00:01:25

focusing on stories where somebody might not have a chance

Emily Brown: 00:01:28

to use their voice otherwise. That means a lot to me. Going

Emily Brown: 00:01:32

into some of the smaller communities that we have here,

Emily Brown: 00:01:34

we have a really large viewing area, so there's always a small

Emily Brown: 00:01:37

story that's really cool, and I think I don't know, I'm just

Emily Brown: 00:01:48

outdoorsy. You know that for a fact,

Howard Brown: 00:01:52

climb mountains, you actually, you actually

Howard Brown: 00:01:56

skateboard, I think you're also snowboard, you ice climb. I

Howard Brown: 00:01:59

mean, you do a lot of stuff outdoors. Do

Emily Brown: 00:02:01

a lot of stuff. I downplay it, but yeah, I I love

Emily Brown: 00:02:06

being outside. I have found a love for Glacier National Park

Emily Brown: 00:02:11

living up here in Montana, and I got to spend a birthday climbing

Emily Brown: 00:02:15

a peak in Glacier this past two years ago, and then this past

Emily Brown: 00:02:19

summer, spent quite a bit of time with my partner. We got to

Emily Brown: 00:02:24

backpack up there a few times. So that was really great. Seeing

Emily Brown: 00:02:27

all the different areas of the park that I haven't seen. I

Howard Brown: 00:02:29

love the photos that you share the nature out

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there. I have to tell you, when I drove Emily out there for

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internships, she took me hiking on the West Gate of Yellowstone,

Howard Brown: 00:02:38

and I this just rancid smell came about, and so I walked by

Howard Brown: 00:02:43

Moose carcass only the first and last time in my life I

Emily Brown: 00:02:46

will walk. That's the first and last time I'd like

Emily Brown: 00:02:48

to walk by a moose carcass, but, but it had

Howard Brown: 00:02:50

pink little signs about the grizzly. Got to eat

Howard Brown: 00:02:52

first, I

Emily Brown: 00:02:54

first, and you got lucky. Hold the bear spray

Howard Brown: 00:02:57

Yeah, for about a minute. So I really appreciate

Howard Brown: 00:03:00

that. The second thing is, is that we spent a lot of time in

Howard Brown: 00:03:04

your youth playing soccer, and you are a national championship

Howard Brown: 00:03:07

goalie, and for eight to 18, we were in a Holiday Inn Express

Howard Brown: 00:03:11

and playing soccer, and you were practicing four to six times a

Howard Brown: 00:03:15

week, and soccer was our life until you took retirement. So it

Howard Brown: 00:03:19

was a big thrill for me, especially when I was going

Howard Brown: 00:03:22

through cancer number two, with colon cancer, and I was a team

Howard Brown: 00:03:24

manager, we had a lot

Howard Brown: 00:03:27

I know

Emily Brown: 00:03:27

it was wild, because we were at the National

Emily Brown: 00:03:29

Championships in Texas, sitting next to you in the front seat,

Emily Brown: 00:03:35

and another teammate of mine was in the back, and you went to the

Emily Brown: 00:03:39

hospital the day prior Because you weren't feeling well. I

Emily Brown: 00:03:41

remember going home taking a nap, like, oh, everything's

Emily Brown: 00:03:44

going to be okay. The next day is our day off. We're ready

Emily Brown: 00:03:47

right before our semi final game. We're playing somebody we

Emily Brown: 00:03:50

knew from another Michigan team. But I just remember we were

Emily Brown: 00:03:54

driving on the interstate in Texas, and you get a call, and

Emily Brown: 00:03:58

it's your doctor, and he tells you that, unfortunately, your

Emily Brown: 00:04:03

cancer is back again after it, you know, kind of went, went

Emily Brown: 00:04:09

quiet it down for a bit over that summer. And he said, it's,

Emily Brown: 00:04:13

it's going and it's not a it's not a good look for you. There's

Emily Brown: 00:04:17

a few things we can do. But you didn't tell me that, but I knew,

Emily Brown: 00:04:21

but you told me. You said, No, I'm okay, because you wanted to

Emily Brown: 00:04:24

tell me after the national championship, and we

Howard Brown: 00:04:26

wanted you to focus, and you did five oh, and

Howard Brown: 00:04:30

but I right, I went metastatic to my liver, my stomach, landing

Howard Brown: 00:04:34

my bladder, and that's just not good news. And I was being

Howard Brown: 00:04:37

protective. I knew you knew I'm not not good at hiding things

Howard Brown: 00:04:42

from you. We've always had a very open, transparent

Howard Brown: 00:04:44

relationship. So

Emily Brown: 00:04:48

lot of windshield time and so the wiper blades and

Emily Brown: 00:04:51

talk about anything, yeah, but

Howard Brown: 00:04:53

I don't think you ever let me run the playlist.

Howard Brown: 00:04:55

Ever?

Emily Brown: 00:04:55

No, I wouldn't.

Howard Brown: 00:04:56

You introduced me to EDM music, so I get it so.

Howard Brown: 00:04:59

The other thing that I was so proud because it wasn't a

Howard Brown: 00:05:02

guarantee to see you graduate high school. You were 15 when I

Howard Brown: 00:05:05

got first diagnosed with colon cancer. I got to see you

Howard Brown: 00:05:08

graduate high school, and then I got to see you graduate go blue

Howard Brown: 00:05:12

University of Michigan. Some of the most proudest moments for me

Howard Brown: 00:05:15

and mom. It was just truly amazing. And then our roadie to

Howard Brown: 00:05:19

Missoula was awesome. We got Fargo and all that. The Jeep

Howard Brown: 00:05:24

broke down, but I got you there, and then you had to drive me at

Howard Brown: 00:05:27

three in the morning, because the train station for Amtrak is

Howard Brown: 00:05:30

only four hours away from Missoula, off past whitefish

Emily Brown: 00:05:34

Things are hard to get to. We drove from Michigan.

Emily Brown: 00:05:38

We drove 27 hours over two days, and we are getting into just

Emily Brown: 00:05:44

about Livingston, which is on the west edge of Yellowstone,

Emily Brown: 00:05:49

and that town is windy. The wind gusts were coming through. I

Emily Brown: 00:05:53

remember seeing tumbleweeds, and I was where am I? What am I

Emily Brown: 00:05:58

doing? We pulled into this gas station, that we pull out, and

Emily Brown: 00:06:01

the Jeep starts shaking. It can't drive over five miles an

Emily Brown: 00:06:04

hour. All the lights on the dashboard blew up. And we're

Emily Brown: 00:06:07

like, oh, something's wrong here. And so we dropped,

Emily Brown: 00:06:11

remember, we dropped the car and we

Howard Brown: 00:06:13

we got to a Jeep before rental, yeah, but we had

Howard Brown: 00:06:17

to get a hotel room, which most of them were sold out. But we

Howard Brown: 00:06:20

got to you checked in to Missoula that next, and then you

Howard Brown: 00:06:24

had to go back and get the fix cheap, but you had to drive me

Howard Brown: 00:06:27

up to pass whitefish to get the train and all that. But I found

Howard Brown: 00:06:32

it to be quite beautiful, and to Missoula to be a really charming

Howard Brown: 00:06:36

town, and you've really adopted it. Tell me I wanted to switch

Howard Brown: 00:06:40

to the reporting thing because I watched you and the capex app.

Howard Brown: 00:06:43

I'm pretty proud of you about this. Is it? Micah? Micah

Howard Brown: 00:06:47

matters. Micah. Micah matters. I thought what you did for that

Howard Brown: 00:06:51

family to bring a voice to them and to eventually, you know how

Howard Brown: 00:06:55

to tell people a quick, quick shout out about that and how it

Howard Brown: 00:06:58

ended up. Well,

Emily Brown: 00:07:01

it was the 30th or 31st, of March of 2023 and a

Emily Brown: 00:07:11

woman who was my age, she was 22 at the time. She's an indigenous

Emily Brown: 00:07:16

woman. She's black, Cree. She's Cree, she's Denae, she's

Emily Brown: 00:07:20

Klamath. Her name is Micah. She was walking home. And there's a

Emily Brown: 00:07:25

pretty notorious area for fatal crashes in the town of Arlie.

Emily Brown: 00:07:31

There's a big bend, there's a straight away people rush. She

Emily Brown: 00:07:34

was walking down this straightaway, and a woman who

Emily Brown: 00:07:40

was apparently taking her children from their custodial

Emily Brown: 00:07:44

father was high on fentanyl and meth, and she hit this girl and

Emily Brown: 00:07:50

killed her and didn't stop it took quite a while for this to

Emily Brown: 00:07:56

get to where it is now, where we can say that she did this. She

Emily Brown: 00:08:00

admitted guilt to it, basically, almost two years later. So her

Emily Brown: 00:08:05

mom, in the meantime, the girl, you know, I don't know if I

Emily Brown: 00:08:11

would be able to do what this girl's mom did, the one who was

Emily Brown: 00:08:15

hit and killed, she had so much pain. Like, if I lost my kid, or

Emily Brown: 00:08:20

if you lost me like that's that I can't even imagine the

Emily Brown: 00:08:24

feeling, but she turned it into a grassroots movement for

Emily Brown: 00:08:27

change. There's a huge epidemic of missing and murdered

Emily Brown: 00:08:30

indigenous people in Montana, in the in the country, and even

Emily Brown: 00:08:34

beyond that. And so to walk from their hometown in our league

Emily Brown: 00:08:40

over four days to the courthouse that was very powerful for me to

Emily Brown: 00:08:43

attend and film and interview, because every person had either

Emily Brown: 00:08:46

been injured themselves, had been kidnapped themselves, had a

Emily Brown: 00:08:50

relative die, had their parent or their sibling, somebody close

Emily Brown: 00:08:54

to them, die, and it was very eye opening to just An epidemic

Emily Brown: 00:08:59

in the country. So to be a part of that is definitely powerful.

Emily Brown: 00:09:05

For me, sitting in a courtroom is not my favorite thing. I like

Emily Brown: 00:09:09

to be out and doing things, but it was a very memorable

Emily Brown: 00:09:14

experience for me, watching someone admit guilt, start

Emily Brown: 00:09:18

crying about, you know, she's going away from her family now,

Emily Brown: 00:09:23

but she committed a crime, and she's crying and she's owning up

Emily Brown: 00:09:27

to this. And then I turn and I see the mom of the girl who

Emily Brown: 00:09:30

passed hugging her dad with a picture of the girl, and it's

Emily Brown: 00:09:33

just I'm sitting in the middle of this vantage point, and it's

Emily Brown: 00:09:36

very eye opening to see just these stories and see these

Emily Brown: 00:09:41

things play out.

Howard Brown: 00:09:44

I wanted to say that it's a proud moment that

Howard Brown: 00:09:46

you took to that advocacy, because you were the reporter

Howard Brown: 00:09:50

that broke it and and they got signatures and and coverage. And

Howard Brown: 00:09:54

I actually have to tell you that, you know, I thought that

Howard Brown: 00:09:57

deserved an Emmy, although I want to congratulate. You

Howard Brown: 00:10:00

publicly on getting an Emmy for the, you know, environmental

Howard Brown: 00:10:03

factors that affected Flathead Lake and Jill Valley and the

Howard Brown: 00:10:06

whole news team. But my daughter, at age 23 has an Emmy.

Howard Brown: 00:10:10

Okay, I have an Emmy from Avid, but it's a team Emmy for a

Howard Brown: 00:10:13

broadcast, digital news. I

Emily Brown: 00:10:15

didn't win it. I didn't win a singular Emmy. It's

Emily Brown: 00:10:18

a team. I know

Howard Brown: 00:10:18

that, but you have a name on it. My name just as

Howard Brown: 00:10:20

avid technology. So I'm very proud of you for your efforts. I

Howard Brown: 00:10:24

love watching you every night because you are so far away, but

Howard Brown: 00:10:28

it's almost like a nightly hug, and I just I appreciate that so

Howard Brown: 00:10:31

much so. Well, here, one of the things that I normally would do

Howard Brown: 00:10:35

is turn over the question ing, but you are a reporter, and you

Howard Brown: 00:10:38

are going to actually now take over the show, which I never

Howard Brown: 00:10:42

give control to show up, but I'm going to give it over to you,

Howard Brown: 00:10:44

and let's have at it. Chop it up, baby.

Emily Brown: 00:10:49

I think I'm a storyteller, but I think asking

Emily Brown: 00:10:52

questions is more pertinent in this time, because, I mean, you

Emily Brown: 00:10:56

heard about me, there's not let's hear about you, because

Emily Brown: 00:11:01

there's a lot going on. And for you to to we talk about climbing

Emily Brown: 00:11:08

the mountain again, right? What does it feel like to you to

Emily Brown: 00:11:13

like, I don't know when you called me before and you told

Emily Brown: 00:11:17

me, hey, it's actually leukemia. I was walking into a federal

Emily Brown: 00:11:19

courtroom to sit and take notes on a case. So I was like, oh,

Emily Brown: 00:11:24

okay, I love you. I'm so sorry. Bye. How did you feel when you

Emily Brown: 00:11:28

got told that you will have to climb this again?

Howard Brown: 00:11:31

So first of all, Emily, thank you for

Howard Brown: 00:11:33

referencing, you know, the storytelling of Shining Brightly

Howard Brown: 00:11:38

bought on Amazon or, you know at a bookstore near you. Thank you

Howard Brown: 00:11:41

for that. That was a labor of love during the pandemic, and

Howard Brown: 00:11:45

you have a chapter in it called Miracle Girl, where you talked

Howard Brown: 00:11:47

about helping others that teenage suicide and other

Howard Brown: 00:11:50

issues, because you do defer that Limelight to yourself. So

Howard Brown: 00:11:52

I'm proud of you. All right, so let's give some context here.

Howard Brown: 00:11:56

Right at age 23 I'm diagnosed with stage four non Hodgkin's

Howard Brown: 00:12:00

lymphoma, and I'm told that I have six months to live, and I

Howard Brown: 00:12:05

fail chemotherapies and all the treatments, and thank God that

Howard Brown: 00:12:09

my mom, your buddy, Nancy, okay, had twins, right? And so my twin

Howard Brown: 00:12:15

sister gave me her bone marrow, which saved my life, and I got

Howard Brown: 00:12:19

my life back. I got to put Humpty, Dumpty back together

Howard Brown: 00:12:21

again, and I got to move out to California, and I met your mom,

Howard Brown: 00:12:27

Lisa Brown, my wife, and I got to meet uncle Ian and be his big

Howard Brown: 00:12:32

brother. And I put my life together back emotionally,

Howard Brown: 00:12:34

physically, financially, with my career and in relationships,

Howard Brown: 00:12:38

because I was isolated. Most people don't realize this. When

Howard Brown: 00:12:41

you are immune compromised and suppressed at a critical level,

Howard Brown: 00:12:45

you can't get a cold, you don't want to get any type of fungus

Howard Brown: 00:12:48

or any type of virus or bacteria, because your body

Howard Brown: 00:12:51

cannot fight it off. You'll have to go to the hospital and try to

Howard Brown: 00:12:54

avoid sepsis. So as I was rebuilding myself, I grew a deep

Howard Brown: 00:12:59

appreciation, you know, for being in tune where my body was.

Howard Brown: 00:13:03

And I always been a hard charger. But I just want to get

Howard Brown: 00:13:07

back to that. I was still young and out in California, and then

Howard Brown: 00:13:11

you came along as miracle girl, okay, frozen sperm after 20,

Howard Brown: 00:13:14

after 11 years, okay? And I it's just incredible gift that before

Howard Brown: 00:13:19

I did chemotherapy, that I went to the, you know, cryogenic

Howard Brown: 00:13:22

center, and 11 years later we called for it, and we get this

Howard Brown: 00:13:24

beautiful miracle baby girl named Emily Lauren brown. It

Howard Brown: 00:13:28

was, it's just the most incredible thing that mom and I

Howard Brown: 00:13:31

did is have you and then moving back to Michigan to reunite the

Howard Brown: 00:13:36

family, to get another diagnosis, a stage three colon

Howard Brown: 00:13:41

cancer diagnosis at age 50, because I should have been

Howard Brown: 00:13:43

screened probably earlier to find an eight and a half

Howard Brown: 00:13:46

centimeter tumor. I mean, you were there that day that we had

Howard Brown: 00:13:48

to tell you, you came home from school, and we had to tell you

Howard Brown: 00:13:51

that I had stage three cancer, and it was not my fault. It

Howard Brown: 00:13:56

wasn't headed, you know, hereditary. It was because of

Howard Brown: 00:13:58

all the chemotherapy and radiation and and treatments and

Howard Brown: 00:14:01

side effects that I had for cancer. One, I had 26 years, and

Howard Brown: 00:14:06

so I had to put on my instead of being a deer in the headlights

Howard Brown: 00:14:13

and analog days of dad, I was a husband, I it was a different

Howard Brown: 00:14:16

time, and all I could think about was, will I see you

Howard Brown: 00:14:19

graduate high school? And that was just a few short years

Howard Brown: 00:14:21

later. That's all I wanted to do, was to graduate high school,

Howard Brown: 00:14:25

and then I went metastatic at the national championships, and

Howard Brown: 00:14:28

it looked pretty bleak. The second time in my life I've been

Howard Brown: 00:14:31

given six months to live, and all mom and I ever tried to do

Howard Brown: 00:14:35

is to show you that we live by values, we live by kindness and

Howard Brown: 00:14:39

gratitude and we live by healing and joy and not to choose hate

Howard Brown: 00:14:43

and to be open minded. And yes, you just exceeded our

Howard Brown: 00:14:46

expectations. You really become a tremendous woman, reporter

Howard Brown: 00:14:51

everything you put your mind to you. You just make us proud, I

Howard Brown: 00:14:56

know, but I appreciate it well. That's okay. So and then, so

Howard Brown: 00:15:01

then I end up having, you know, getting to more chemotherapy.

Howard Brown: 00:15:06

But then you had to see me, okay, get this amazing surgery

Howard Brown: 00:15:10

where they cut me open, from pelvis down, you know, to up the

Howard Brown: 00:15:13

chest, the zipper, cut and cut out all the cancer alive and

Howard Brown: 00:15:17

dead, and then poor, hot chemotherapy in me. And you had

Howard Brown: 00:15:19

to see me real, rehabilitate myself. I came home as 135

Howard Brown: 00:15:23

pounds. I'm bald and a ghost, and it took me a good year and a

Howard Brown: 00:15:26

half thanks to my good friends like Alan Baxter, my who

Howard Brown: 00:15:33

buddies, self, emotionally, physically, okay. Fixed, okay. I

Howard Brown: 00:15:38

had to go with disability, okay, because I wasn't able to work at

Howard Brown: 00:15:42

that time, and I reinvented myself as an author, podcaster

Howard Brown: 00:15:46

and international speaker, and I just tell my stories so that I

Howard Brown: 00:15:53

can actually help lift up others. And that's the whole

Howard Brown: 00:15:56

shining brightly movement. Is the movement of kindness. It's a

Howard Brown: 00:15:58

movement of resilience. And I was very proud. And now, in my

Howard Brown: 00:16:03

third time of need, people are telling me that you know how I

Howard Brown: 00:16:07

help them, and now they're helping us and helping me come

Howard Brown: 00:16:10

back. So to answer your question, in a long story, to

Howard Brown: 00:16:13

get a diagnosis of leukemia was shocking. I'm not happy about

Howard Brown: 00:16:20

it, this existence of living with chemotherapy again and

Howard Brown: 00:16:25

blood transfusions and feeling just zapped, tired all the time,

Howard Brown: 00:16:29

and having to face, you know, another stem cell transplant,

Howard Brown: 00:16:32

that's daunting. I'm up for the challenge. But I mean, how much

Howard Brown: 00:16:38

can one guy take the third one? Uh, injured cancer. So, you

Howard Brown: 00:16:44

know, when I had that bone marrow baptism, I was told that

Howard Brown: 00:16:46

I had, you know, acute my leukemia and my, you know,

Howard Brown: 00:16:49

Auntie Cheryl, my twin sister Cheryl, her bone marrow stopped

Howard Brown: 00:16:52

working. It had nothing to do with anything but the fact that

Howard Brown: 00:16:55

it lasted 35 years. It was a blessing. It's like a Guinness

Howard Brown: 00:16:59

Book of World Records, and it stopped working. And when it

Howard Brown: 00:17:02

stopped working, the bone marrow kicks out these rogue cells that

Howard Brown: 00:17:06

become cancerous, and they're white cells. And I ran into see

Howard Brown: 00:17:10

Dr zechman, the oncologist, and he said, How are you even

Howard Brown: 00:17:13

walking in here? Your white counts, your red counts, and

Howard Brown: 00:17:15

your platelets are dangerously low. But I mean, I played

Howard Brown: 00:17:19

basketball is before, hiked five miles a day before, and then

Howard Brown: 00:17:22

worked out. And now I'm in a position where I'm isolated

Howard Brown: 00:17:26

again, like I was when I was 23 but we live in the digital age,

Howard Brown: 00:17:29

so now I'm getting, oh my god, 1000s upon 1000s of prayer,

Howard Brown: 00:17:34

healing, prayer, Virtual hugs, getting people to consider

Howard Brown: 00:17:38

donating platelets, because and blood where they are, because we

Howard Brown: 00:17:41

always need that. We need still down in Florida for the

Howard Brown: 00:17:44

hurricane. And then now I'm asking people to swab their

Howard Brown: 00:17:47

cheeks so I can find a bone marrow match so that can save my

Howard Brown: 00:17:51

life. And this is serious stuff that is all bloody blood vessel

Howard Brown: 00:17:59

my left eye, I can see fine, but I'm dealing with all these crazy

Howard Brown: 00:18:03

consequences and but I'm getting support. I'm feeling prayer, I'm

Howard Brown: 00:18:07

feeling love. I'm at a higher vibration for love and kindness,

Howard Brown: 00:18:12

but at the same time, I don't plan on dying, but it's a

Howard Brown: 00:18:16

distinct possibility I could and but if God is going to call me

Howard Brown: 00:18:20

and call my name up. I'm prepared for that, but I got a

Howard Brown: 00:18:24

lot more living to do. As you used to say, Get busy living,

Howard Brown: 00:18:26

right? I got to get busy living. So that's kind of where I'm at

Howard Brown: 00:18:30

right now, and this is I'm thrilled, because you're coming

Howard Brown: 00:18:33

in to visit, and it's just, you know, something that I actually

Howard Brown: 00:18:38

have to go through again a third time, and it's hard, it's hard,

Howard Brown: 00:18:43

it's really hard. I sometimes get to these crazy thoughts when

Howard Brown: 00:18:48

I'm sleeping, and, you know, physically, I'm walking up two

Howard Brown: 00:18:52

flights of stairs without DcJ the other day, and I was out of

Howard Brown: 00:18:54

breath, and people are hitting the GoFundMe, and they're doing

Howard Brown: 00:18:59

good things, they're being kind, and they're, they're they're

Howard Brown: 00:19:03

doing the things that I'm requesting. So I've had an

Howard Brown: 00:19:05

answer. What can I do for you? And I have six things for people

Howard Brown: 00:19:09

to do. So you want to hit the GoFundMe, you want to send

Howard Brown: 00:19:16

prayers and hugs, actually pop your cheek for bone marrow,

Howard Brown: 00:19:18

because it may not be matched for me, but it could be a match

Howard Brown: 00:19:21

for someone and they want younger people. You people.

Howard Brown: 00:19:23

Okay, my TCJ is not a match for me now, so I'm going to go out

Howard Brown: 00:19:26

into the donor registry and find someone that's swabbed and is a

Howard Brown: 00:19:30

match for me to help save my life. And then I also say that

Howard Brown: 00:19:33

you should hug your family for no reason, and you should also

Howard Brown: 00:19:37

do an act of kindness every day, because it just makes the world

Howard Brown: 00:19:39

better, and that's how we shine brightly. And so I'm committed

Howard Brown: 00:19:43

to that goodness in the world, and I know that you see that and

Howard Brown: 00:19:47

and I hope you're proud of me from

Emily Brown: 00:19:49

that I am proud of you. It's hard, it's hard being

Emily Brown: 00:19:53

told those things and to deal with it. I think you said, If

Emily Brown: 00:19:57

God calls your name, you're ready for. It, I feel like

Emily Brown: 00:20:00

that's a fear that a lot of people have, and a lot of people

Emily Brown: 00:20:04

who are sick could have, or a lot of people worry about their

Emily Brown: 00:20:06

loved ones. I'm proud of you for facing it, but, yeah, I'm

Emily Brown: 00:20:09

worried. But how do you get to that point where you're not as

Emily Brown: 00:20:16

afraid, where, if it happens, it happens,

Howard Brown: 00:20:21

I will tell you that it's not easy to come to

Howard Brown: 00:20:23

that point. It's it's about being vulnerable. It's about

Howard Brown: 00:20:28

understanding the situation that I'm in. Okay, there's no

Howard Brown: 00:20:33

guarantees. There's just no guarantees. There could be this

Howard Brown: 00:20:37

could save my life, and I could actually then heal up and keep

Howard Brown: 00:20:39

moving on and keep helping others and keep shining

Howard Brown: 00:20:42

brightly. That's the goal I want to actually, my goal is to walk

Howard Brown: 00:20:45

you down the aisle in your wedding. That's where my next

Howard Brown: 00:20:48

big goal is. I need to make that goal, but some things may be out

Howard Brown: 00:20:52

of my control. If this donor match doesn't work, I could die

Howard Brown: 00:20:55

right away. I could get graft versus host disease, and it has

Howard Brown: 00:20:59

serious patients as well, and so I know that I don't want that,

Howard Brown: 00:21:05

but I'm experienced enough as a cancer advocate for for

Howard Brown: 00:21:10

screening and for treatment and for survivorship. I know what

Howard Brown: 00:21:13

I'm facing, and I'm mature enough to understand it. Allowed

Howard Brown: 00:21:16

myself to cry, I've allowed myself to be very angry, and I

Howard Brown: 00:21:22

have so much support that is there for me right now that is

Howard Brown: 00:21:25

getting me through. That is pulling me up by my boots in our

Howard Brown: 00:21:30

time of need, in my time of need. So there's a lot going on

Howard Brown: 00:21:33

here, and it's all happening quickly.

Emily Brown: 00:21:36

Yeah, when it happens so fast, you're just

Emily Brown: 00:21:39

like, you go from you said playing basketball, walking five

Emily Brown: 00:21:44

miles. It's the unknown that I feel like shows up, and that's

Emily Brown: 00:21:49

where the fear comes from. That's where the anger comes

Emily Brown: 00:21:52

from. That's where that's we said, climbing the mountain

Emily Brown: 00:21:56

again as the theme, or that's the whole thing of mountains. In

Emily Brown: 00:22:02

my experience, you go in and you know as much as you know, and

Emily Brown: 00:22:05

you try to nail down what you can and you can't, and you know

Emily Brown: 00:22:09

things are out of your control, and you just have to let that

Emily Brown: 00:22:11

be. And that's a that's a skill that you know you don't want to

Emily Brown: 00:22:15

develop through having three cancers, obviously, but if it's

Emily Brown: 00:22:19

a skill that that you can take away from and be present and

Emily Brown: 00:22:24

know what you can and can't control. I think that's a skill

Emily Brown: 00:22:27

for all of life. How do you how do you deal with things out of

Emily Brown: 00:22:32

your control, as in worrying? Do you feel like you sit in

Emily Brown: 00:22:37

anxiety? Do you feel like you worry about what might not

Emily Brown: 00:22:42

happen or might actually come true.

Howard Brown: 00:22:46

I worry about not seeing you and mom ever again.

Howard Brown: 00:22:49

That's my biggest worry right now. And I I have a can of beer,

Howard Brown: 00:22:56

can of bear spray, which is you, and I take that with me, and

Howard Brown: 00:23:02

that's important, because I'm not a seasoned hiker like you,

Howard Brown: 00:23:04

but in the cancer world, I'm very seasoned. I've been there

Howard Brown: 00:23:11

in analog days with no cell phones, no internet, no

Howard Brown: 00:23:13

computers, and in the days where I'm a dad of a young girl, and

Howard Brown: 00:23:16

now having to face this a third time at age 58 I'm a war

Howard Brown: 00:23:21

veteran, and again, I don't have all the answers. I'm not sure

Howard Brown: 00:23:25

how this is going to play out, but you have to prepare yourself

Howard Brown: 00:23:27

like going to war, like preparing for that major hike of

Howard Brown: 00:23:31

a 14 or $16,000 peak that you've done, understanding that things

Howard Brown: 00:23:35

can change. The weather can change, right? A bear can come

Howard Brown: 00:23:38

up from nowhere. You know, you don't want to run out of food or

Howard Brown: 00:23:41

water. You can get lost, you can get injured. All that's at

Howard Brown: 00:23:45

stake, and right now, my oncology team, okay, is planning

Howard Brown: 00:23:51

my path. They're planning the climb for me and with me. And

Howard Brown: 00:23:55

I've got so many people around the world that are my safety

Howard Brown: 00:24:00

net. I have people telling me, I can call them at two in the

Howard Brown: 00:24:03

morning, and we can talk about anything I want. I can cry, I

Howard Brown: 00:24:06

can shout, I can laugh, and I have this resource that is

Howard Brown: 00:24:11

abundance of energy, okay? And I think that's because what I've

Howard Brown: 00:24:15

been able to and I'm proud about, is sharing with the world

Howard Brown: 00:24:18

of helping survive survivorship with cancer and life. Okay, I

Howard Brown: 00:24:23

always say we all get knocked down in life and business, and

Howard Brown: 00:24:29

the book talks about darkness. I am walking in darkness right

Howard Brown: 00:24:33

now. There's no other way to put it, but I'm not staying there

Howard Brown: 00:24:36

too long, because the light of others is lifting me up, and

Howard Brown: 00:24:40

it's been my life's mission to take my light and lift up

Howard Brown: 00:24:43

others, and that's the shining brightly movement, and I try to

Howard Brown: 00:24:46

do that every day. So when I wake up in the morning, I look

Howard Brown: 00:24:49

in the mirror and I say, I am blessed, I am grateful, and I am

Howard Brown: 00:24:56

lucky, and I'm going to go find some joy and do. Of kindness

Howard Brown: 00:25:00

today, and I try to do that every day, and if I do that,

Howard Brown: 00:25:03

that's a good day, right? And I think that if I can get one

Howard Brown: 00:25:06

person to get screened for cancer, or one person to donate

Howard Brown: 00:25:08

blood or one person to swab their cheek, it may not affect

Howard Brown: 00:25:12

me, but it's going to affect others. So it's like you with,

Howard Brown: 00:25:14

you know, Micah matters. It's like you when you help the, you

Howard Brown: 00:25:17

know, the girls that shred. I love seeing that part of you

Howard Brown: 00:25:21

because you're lifting up others, and that's what we tried

Howard Brown: 00:25:24

to teach you, Mom and I tried to teach you. And now you execute

Howard Brown: 00:25:26

on that, and you execute on that with Chris, when you support him

Howard Brown: 00:25:29

and his mountain biking and him and his schooling and and you

Howard Brown: 00:25:37

and your career. So but is it easy? Hell no, hell no. It's not

Howard Brown: 00:25:41

easy.

Emily Brown: 00:25:43

There's a lot of things that I feel like can show

Emily Brown: 00:25:46

up on the path. As you said, there's a lot of things that are

Emily Brown: 00:25:49

very out of your control. There's the path is never as

Emily Brown: 00:25:55

straightforward, but when you worry about the path, you don't

Emily Brown: 00:25:59

get moving. Fear stops a lot of things before that, you can get

Emily Brown: 00:26:05

it started. I feel that sometimes too, but sometimes you

Emily Brown: 00:26:09

just gotta take the chance. I took a deaf dog home from Utah

Emily Brown: 00:26:13

and my car broke down.

Howard Brown: 00:26:16

Like, yeah, shout out to Beethoven, right?

Emily Brown: 00:26:21

Yes, vision impairment too. That's taught me

Emily Brown: 00:26:23

about patience. But see, you learn the lesson in in that

Emily Brown: 00:26:26

unexpected pop up? Do you feel like there's a certain lesson

Emily Brown: 00:26:30

that you're learning, whether it be gratitude, whether it be

Emily Brown: 00:26:34

allowing yourself to feel all the ways you feel? Do you feel

Emily Brown: 00:26:37

like there's a certain lesson that pops up so far in the past,

Emily Brown: 00:26:42

I guess few weeks of dealing with this third cancer.

Howard Brown: 00:26:50

Well, tell you, it's only been three weeks. I've

Howard Brown: 00:26:52

already been through a ton of chemo. I've already been through

Howard Brown: 00:26:55

six platelet and blood transfusions. I'm tired, I'm

Howard Brown: 00:26:59

tired, but what keeps me going is that in my time of need,

Howard Brown: 00:27:06

1000s of people are in my corner, and that gives me

Howard Brown: 00:27:10

comfort, even with the unknown. So Emily, when you actually get

Howard Brown: 00:27:16

to the top of a summit, how does that feel?

Emily Brown: 00:27:19

Great, but then you have to go down harder. For me,

Emily Brown: 00:27:24

I feel like than going

Howard Brown: 00:27:25

up. All right, so that analogy, since we're on the

Howard Brown: 00:27:28

climbing the mountain, you know, and I'm doing it now for the

Howard Brown: 00:27:31

third time, I have to climb the mountain through a stem cell

Howard Brown: 00:27:34

transplant, okay, where they knock me down with chemo and

Howard Brown: 00:27:37

radiation again. Hope the transplant works. Have my bag of

Howard Brown: 00:27:41

life, like I got from CJ, and then I gotta actually go down.

Howard Brown: 00:27:45

And the down is actually up, because I will be so weak, I'll

Howard Brown: 00:27:53

be like a ghost again after 35 years ago, that work is almost

Howard Brown: 00:27:58

as hard as going up. So I have to actually get myself going

Howard Brown: 00:28:02

again mentally, okay with self care and self love. I have to

Howard Brown: 00:28:07

get myself physically so I gotta get my butt back in the

Howard Brown: 00:28:10

basketball court, okay? Because I'm not allowed to do that.

Howard Brown: 00:28:12

That's my happy place, right? And that's hurtful for me right

Howard Brown: 00:28:15

now to not be able to play basketball two or three times a

Howard Brown: 00:28:18

week. I will get there. I will get there. But that's, you know,

Howard Brown: 00:28:21

that's, that's my love. I see you hugging Beethoven and

Howard Brown: 00:28:24

walking, and you've now run a road race, and Chris is mountain

Howard Brown: 00:28:27

biking. This is our happy place. These are our stress free zones.

Howard Brown: 00:28:31

So I need to gain those back. And also, I'm getting help

Howard Brown: 00:28:34

supported financially through a Go Fund Me. And I got to, then

Howard Brown: 00:28:37

eventually, I want to get a job, I want to contribute. I want to

Howard Brown: 00:28:40

get my life back in order. And, you know, the four ways,

Howard Brown: 00:28:43

emotionally, physically, financially and in relationship.

Howard Brown: 00:28:46

And so that takes work. And it doesn't come overnight. It takes

Howard Brown: 00:28:50

time. And so I'm going to have to put in the work after the

Howard Brown: 00:28:54

transplant. And that's what everyone has to put in, the work

Howard Brown: 00:29:02

in life. Okay, it's going to be really tough to recover. I'm up

Howard Brown: 00:29:06

for the challenge. Give me that opportunity. That's all I want.

Howard Brown: 00:29:09

Is that opportunity.

Emily Brown: 00:29:12

I think the opportunity for you to go back

Emily Brown: 00:29:14

and do what you love is the thing, one of the things

Emily Brown: 00:29:18

definitely on your mind. How does it feel like in your brain

Emily Brown: 00:29:23

now thinking about the day that you'll get to go back on the

Emily Brown: 00:29:26

basketball court?

Howard Brown: 00:29:29

Have you thought about that? Course, that's my

Howard Brown: 00:29:32

vision. When you're visioning, that's where I want to be. So

Howard Brown: 00:29:36

I'm hoping, and I picked a date out. It's in June of this year

Howard Brown: 00:29:39

that I'll be back out with the boys playing hoops, talking

Howard Brown: 00:29:42

trash. I may not be as fast or slow, but it's going to take me

Howard Brown: 00:29:45

time, but I plan on getting out on the basketball court in June

Howard Brown: 00:29:49

of 2025 and so I don't think about it every day right now,

Howard Brown: 00:29:54

because it seems so far away, but oh my goodness, that's a.

Howard Brown: 00:29:59

Big goal of mine, I want to get back there, and that will push

Howard Brown: 00:30:06

me through, and then I've got a whole bunch of, you know, 25

Howard Brown: 00:30:09

basketball guys that want me back there are cheerleading me

Howard Brown: 00:30:11

on, pushing me forward. And so you have a team okay? And you've

Howard Brown: 00:30:15

heard me say this before, okay, that life is a team sport.

Howard Brown: 00:30:19

Business is a team sport. Fighting cancer is a team sport.

Howard Brown: 00:30:22

I'm not doing this alone, and that gives me great comfort.

Emily Brown: 00:30:28

Yeah, 1000s of people all over. You got one in

Emily Brown: 00:30:32

Montana, you got two in Montana, and Chris, you got three.

Emily Brown: 00:30:35

Beethoven, I got the Tova family here. So it's, it's interesting

Emily Brown: 00:30:42

to see how you have a date picked out for that, because I

Emily Brown: 00:30:46

remember, after you were it was the cancer case in the

Emily Brown: 00:30:52

anniversary vacation, when you went and climbed the mountain

Emily Brown: 00:30:55

with me. You hiked up that peak in St Lucia, and you said, I'm

Emily Brown: 00:30:58

going to do this. This is going to be easy, and we're going to

Emily Brown: 00:31:02

have a good time. And I remember seeing your face when you got up

Emily Brown: 00:31:06

there. You were, like, elated. I think that's the face that

Emily Brown: 00:31:09

you'll have. It might be hard playing your first game of

Emily Brown: 00:31:12

basketball, but I think that's the face you'll have. Is just

Emily Brown: 00:31:15

like, eager to ear like HB strong,

Howard Brown: 00:31:20

that was one of my first things that I wanted to

Howard Brown: 00:31:23

conquer with you. So we climbed the Grow piton, okay, in St

Howard Brown: 00:31:28

Lucia. And it was, it was, there was some scrambling, there was

Howard Brown: 00:31:32

some high steps, there was and I struggled. I was not in shape,

Howard Brown: 00:31:36

but I struggled. But I was there was no way I was not making it

Howard Brown: 00:31:38

to the top. I took a couple breaks. I had a banana. I had

Howard Brown: 00:31:41

some some raisins. I had to go the bathroom on the off the

Howard Brown: 00:31:45

track, but we had the guide. Stayed with me. Did you notice

Howard Brown: 00:31:49

you went ahead with a couple from Chicago, and you probably

Howard Brown: 00:31:52

were up there 20 minutes before me. Maybe more. I got up there,

Howard Brown: 00:31:56

and it's this itty bitty little Summit, right? And someone

Howard Brown: 00:31:59

handed me a beer, a grand pizza, a beer, and we cheered. And that

Howard Brown: 00:32:04

accomplishment was amazing. Now what I did notice is that I

Howard Brown: 00:32:08

stayed, we you stayed you the guide stayed with me on the way

Howard Brown: 00:32:11

up, you stayed with me on the way down, and we made it down. I

Howard Brown: 00:32:15

was hurting for like, three days later, I was so sore. I did a

Howard Brown: 00:32:19

massage and more, but you know what? We did it, and I was so

Howard Brown: 00:32:22

happy. That was a big deal. There's a picture of that in the

Howard Brown: 00:32:25

book. It was a very proud moment, because I needed to see

Howard Brown: 00:32:28

if I had it in me, and I wanted to accomplish something with

Howard Brown: 00:32:31

you. You cake walked it. It was easy. You're, you're, I know,

Howard Brown: 00:32:35

but still it was not, it's not, you know, it's not a huge climb.

Howard Brown: 00:32:38

But for me, it was, I had to prove myself, and I did it

Howard Brown: 00:32:41

alongside of you. It was one of the most fantastic moments.

Howard Brown: 00:32:46

Okay, it doesn't make going through where stage four colon

Howard Brown: 00:32:48

cancer worth it, but it was worth it because you and I did

Howard Brown: 00:32:51

it. And I was very, very happy that I made it up, made it down

Howard Brown: 00:32:56

with you, and we did ascend and descend that mountain together.

Howard Brown: 00:33:00

It was a very, very cool, cool time. I love that. Thank you for

Howard Brown: 00:33:05

reminding me.

Emily Brown: 00:33:06

I feel like you said, it kind of the doesn't

Emily Brown: 00:33:10

make it worth it, going through stage four colon cancer to get

Emily Brown: 00:33:13

to that moment. But you've been in the pain cave in different

Emily Brown: 00:33:16

ways, and the pain cave runs deep. I've had some experiences,

Emily Brown: 00:33:21

you know, descending 4000 feet of elevation, and my backpack is

Emily Brown: 00:33:26

heavy, and I want to cry, and I just go deeper and deeper into

Emily Brown: 00:33:29

the pain cave and feel what the pain is, and it's just starting

Emily Brown: 00:33:32

to talk to you. Do you ever feel like you turn your pain into a

Emily Brown: 00:33:35

friend?

Howard Brown: 00:33:39

So interesting question. My pain tolerance is

Howard Brown: 00:33:44

very high. Okay, when I get bone marrow aspirates that hurt like

Howard Brown: 00:33:48

a mother or I did clinical trials where they get a stun

Howard Brown: 00:33:50

gun, it's like a bullet to the arm. But I don't want you know

Howard Brown: 00:33:56

pain is just, unfortunately, a reality of the life we live in,

Howard Brown: 00:33:59

the world we live in, and it takes many forms, and that's

Howard Brown: 00:34:02

what I call darkness in the book, and I don't define it. How

Howard Brown: 00:34:09

you process that pain, how you learn from that pain, what are

Howard Brown: 00:34:13

you going to do to turn that pain into either power or

Howard Brown: 00:34:16

purpose? I was on a show the other day, and she turned her

Howard Brown: 00:34:19

pain into power. I never heard that before, but most people

Howard Brown: 00:34:22

call it, you're turning your pain into purpose. I've turned

Howard Brown: 00:34:24

my pain into purpose. That's that's the key there is able to

Howard Brown: 00:34:28

do that where a lot of people walk and they saying that I know

Howard Brown: 00:34:31

I appreciate that very much. And I want to tell you something

Howard Brown: 00:34:34

that I never, ever imagined you that when you were a little

Howard Brown: 00:34:38

tripper at Camp Tamarack, teaching these kids the safe way

Howard Brown: 00:34:42

and the Eco way to hike with nature, that this would become

Howard Brown: 00:34:46

your happy place, your love but it has become that, and it's

Howard Brown: 00:34:50

very cool.

Emily Brown: 00:34:52

You and mom sent me to sleep away camp when I was

Emily Brown: 00:34:54

little,

Howard Brown: 00:34:55

I know, but we, I we both did sleep away camp too,

Howard Brown: 00:34:57

but we're not campers. We don't have this May. Major calling of

Howard Brown: 00:35:01

the environment and the outdoors that you do. I mean your

Howard Brown: 00:35:04

wilderness trained you. You've climbed many, many peaks, you've

Howard Brown: 00:35:09

done lots of hikes and stuff like that, but your appreciation

Howard Brown: 00:35:17

of the environment in nature is, I love you.

Emily Brown: 00:35:23

I got to hug a tree the other day.

Howard Brown: 00:35:27

My dog is a tree hugger.

Emily Brown: 00:35:30

The being in Missoula, the city is in a

Emily Brown: 00:35:35

valley. It used to be a really large glacial lake, and if you

Emily Brown: 00:35:39

hike up some of the mountains around town, you'll see the

Emily Brown: 00:35:41

plaque of where the water level was. So we're really deep in

Emily Brown: 00:35:45

here, and the snow is kind of coming in, but the large trees

Emily Brown: 00:35:49

are yellow, still into November. And so I you said it, yeah, I

Emily Brown: 00:35:55

ran a race recently. I ran a 15k trail race with a lot of

Emily Brown: 00:36:01

elevation. And I was just running with a friend the other

Emily Brown: 00:36:04

day, and I pulled over and hugged a tree. I revere places

Emily Brown: 00:36:11

and mountains and moss and all the little things, because it's

Emily Brown: 00:36:16

all connected. And the mountains are like elders. You learn from

Emily Brown: 00:36:20

them. There's lessons to be had in the outdoors. There's lessons

Emily Brown: 00:36:25

to be had in every experience. So yeah, I don't go after I love

Emily Brown: 00:36:31

it, but I

Howard Brown: 00:36:32

want to ask you a question, what was it like

Howard Brown: 00:36:35

training and preparing for the race?

Emily Brown: 00:36:38

I set up a plan on my watch, and I tried to stick

Emily Brown: 00:36:42

to it. I've had an off and on relationship with running the

Emily Brown: 00:36:45

past few years. And seeing my partner do a 25 mile bike race

Emily Brown: 00:36:50

and doing really well, that inspired me to sign up for a

Emily Brown: 00:36:53

race. He did amazing. And I was like, I could do something like

Emily Brown: 00:36:59

that. I got a running vest. I made it official. I started

Emily Brown: 00:37:03

fueling myself while running. And it's hard, but there's a

Emily Brown: 00:37:10

flow that you find. And as we said, the pain cave goes deep,

Emily Brown: 00:37:14

and sometimes you get in it, and it really, really is hard, but

Emily Brown: 00:37:19

then you hit a flow. So I've gotten to do some runs with my

Emily Brown: 00:37:24

dog. Got to spend time. I think my favorite thing, besides in

Emily Brown: 00:37:29

trail running, besides seeing what is around me, is breathing.

Emily Brown: 00:37:35

When I found out that you were sick, I had to sit in this

Emily Brown: 00:37:39

courtroom for a long time listening to something that

Emily Brown: 00:37:44

really mattered in our community, and I had to take

Emily Brown: 00:37:47

some time to just sit for a second before while they were

Emily Brown: 00:37:50

getting back into the lessons and the arguments and everything

Emily Brown: 00:37:54

that they were presenting, and I just wanted to run because I

Emily Brown: 00:37:58

wanted to breathe. I don't see these things as escapes. I see

Emily Brown: 00:38:02

them as breath, and that's the thing you return to, getting

Emily Brown: 00:38:06

things in, getting things out. So that's what I wanted to do

Emily Brown: 00:38:08

when you told me

Howard Brown: 00:38:11

flow state is that breathing and that flow state is

Howard Brown: 00:38:14

so important I'm learning it as well. As far as energy and

Howard Brown: 00:38:17

vibration healing, tell me what happened when you crossed the

Howard Brown: 00:38:20

finish line.

Emily Brown: 00:38:23

Somebody sprinted ahead of me and my old

Emily Brown: 00:38:29

competitive self, you know me, I would have been mad. You know

Emily Brown: 00:38:35

how I as a kid, I used to be very, very I'm still intense,

Emily Brown: 00:38:39

but I don't I switched the fuel, if you will, of that fire. So I

Emily Brown: 00:38:44

just went little bow.

Howard Brown: 00:38:49

Okay, well, I have to tell you, Emily, that what

Howard Brown: 00:38:52

you just said is that I'm preparing for my race. I am

Howard Brown: 00:38:56

breathing okay. I am in tune with my environment, although

Howard Brown: 00:38:59

I'm isolated mostly, but I've been walking three miles a day

Howard Brown: 00:39:02

when people want to come and see me, as long as they put on a

Howard Brown: 00:39:05

mask and gloves and we're outside, there's like walking

Howard Brown: 00:39:08

the dog they're walking me. But actually, most of these people

Howard Brown: 00:39:11

can't do three miles, and I'm doing three miles on No no no

Howard Brown: 00:39:14

platelets and no blood cells. And so I'm in training for this,

Howard Brown: 00:39:18

and I will have that elation, you know, when I get through the

Howard Brown: 00:39:22

bone marrow transplant and prepared for the after, because

Howard Brown: 00:39:26

it's going to take a piece of me, but it's no different than

Howard Brown: 00:39:29

training for a race. So I want to, you know, make that, you

Howard Brown: 00:39:32

know, equivalent. So I just, I am so happy that we're getting

Howard Brown: 00:39:38

this chance to talk. Do you have any final questions before we

Howard Brown: 00:39:41

kind of go to closing out the show,

Emily Brown: 00:39:43

what's a mantra that you've had, something

Emily Brown: 00:39:46

that's getting you through, that you tell yourself, besides the

Emily Brown: 00:39:48

things you say in the mirror? Do you have any quotes or any

Emily Brown: 00:39:54

things that you've read, something that sticks with you,

Emily Brown: 00:39:59

that you feel like? Popping up.

Howard Brown: 00:40:03

The first thing is, I want people not to have

Howard Brown: 00:40:06

cancer. Cancer sucks. Let's just be straight. All right. So I

Howard Brown: 00:40:09

want people to go get screened and not get cancer. So do that?

Howard Brown: 00:40:13

Do yourself a favor, especially minority communities, indigenous

Howard Brown: 00:40:16

communities, poor communities. Go get screened for your

Howard Brown: 00:40:18

mammogram, for your colon cancer, for your prostate

Howard Brown: 00:40:21

cancer, go to the damn dentist, because we didn't do that during

Howard Brown: 00:40:24

the pandemic. The second thing is, is that if you do get

Howard Brown: 00:40:28

diagnosed with cancer, you need a team. You call out the

Howard Brown: 00:40:31

cavalry. And if you don't have a cavalry, you call me, because I

Howard Brown: 00:40:35

have zillions of people that will help you create your

Howard Brown: 00:40:38

Calvary, because you don't want to walk this alone. It's not

Howard Brown: 00:40:41

it's too complex. It's not meant to be alone. You need a

Howard Brown: 00:40:44

caregiver. So Bobby and Papa were my caregiver for cancer

Howard Brown: 00:40:48

one, and mom was cancer two, and now CJ is cancer three, and you

Howard Brown: 00:40:53

need someone to have your backside and to watch you,

Howard Brown: 00:40:57

because you have tendency where you're going to need rest and

Howard Brown: 00:40:59

you're going to need we need to eat right. You need to sleep

Howard Brown: 00:41:02

right. You need to hide. Need to hydrate, all of those things.

Howard Brown: 00:41:08

Take some gummies, you know, for the for the nausea, and to get

Howard Brown: 00:41:10

some good sleep. So and then lastly is survivorship. I'm all

Howard Brown: 00:41:13

about getting back up again. Okay, I want to get back up

Howard Brown: 00:41:16

again. Okay. I want to build myself up better than before. I

Howard Brown: 00:41:19

want to build stronger. I want to do more good in the world.

Howard Brown: 00:41:23

And I want to move forward. I want to grow old, and as I said,

Howard Brown: 00:41:28

walk you down the aisle, and maybe someday get baby grand

Howard Brown: 00:41:31

puppies or more, or kids, the dog so far, or grandkids, if

Howard Brown: 00:41:37

you're thinking in that direction. So

Emily Brown: 00:41:40

nothing in there yet.

Howard Brown: 00:41:41

All right, that's that's okay take your time, but

Howard Brown: 00:41:44

again, I want to be there for that, and so I lead a life. This

Howard Brown: 00:41:49

is my mantra of resilience and hope, and those four letters are

Howard Brown: 00:41:52

what fuels me. Every single day, I have hope for all of that to

Howard Brown: 00:41:56

come true.

Emily Brown: 00:41:58

Definitely, hope is the key

Howard Brown: 00:42:01

Hope is the fuel, baby. All right, so I'm going to

Howard Brown: 00:42:03

ask you to pronounce sunglasses. Okay, we're going to shine

Howard Brown: 00:42:07

brightly for the whole world. Emily, we've already been doing

Howard Brown: 00:42:09

it, but we're going to shine brightly. All right, there you

Howard Brown: 00:42:14

go. Awesome. I should take that picture about it. Tell me Tell

Howard Brown: 00:42:18

tell audience how they should best get a hold of you.

Emily Brown: 00:42:23

Um, well, I'm on the Montana this morning. I am

Emily Brown: 00:42:27

on the 435 3010, O'Clock News on channel eight here in Missoula,

Emily Brown: 00:42:32

Montana. If you're not in Missoula, Montana, you can watch

Emily Brown: 00:42:36

us on kpax.com I also am a photographer, videographer. Love

Emily Brown: 00:42:44

to connect with anybody who needs photos, who wants to be

Emily Brown: 00:42:49

filmed on Expedition, something like that. You know, I have an

Emily Brown: 00:42:53

account on Instagram at Emily brown film, f, i, L, M, whoa.

Emily Brown: 00:42:58

Can't spell, but I post 35 millimeter film. I post my news

Emily Brown: 00:43:03

clips. I go out with friends, climb stuff, post it. If you're

Emily Brown: 00:43:09

want to share about a culture, want to share about a moment, I

Emily Brown: 00:43:13

can, I can do that. Those are pretty much the delays. I have a

Emily Brown: 00:43:18

LinkedIn as well. But, yeah, so I'll put that I'm a pretty

Emily Brown: 00:43:23

private person. Even though I'm on TV, I'm a private person,

Howard Brown: 00:43:28

alrighty. So how we shine brightly is we share

Howard Brown: 00:43:31

inspiration. Share some inspiration as we close up the

Howard Brown: 00:43:33

show.

Emily Brown: 00:43:35

When I walk the dog, I used to do it a lot more

Emily Brown: 00:43:39

in the mornings, but I listen to the Be Here Now podcast by Ram

Emily Brown: 00:43:43

Dass. And something that's been popping up in my kind of time of

Emily Brown: 00:43:49

dealing with these things is a quote that he said, When you

Emily Brown: 00:43:54

know how to listen everyone is Guru, everyone and everything.

Emily Brown: 00:43:58

So the red light when you're driving the car that didn't turn

Emily Brown: 00:44:04

its blinker off, the rain that's ruining your plans to go outside

Emily Brown: 00:44:09

the work that it's dragging on the coworker that you don't want

Emily Brown: 00:44:13

to talk to, the annoyance that you have with the test, the dog

Emily Brown: 00:44:18

that's barking, anything you can when you know how to listen

Emily Brown: 00:44:22

every everything and everyone is your teacher.

Howard Brown: 00:44:28

Very profound. I thank you so this has been a

Howard Brown: 00:44:31

special episode of The shining brightly show. You can reach me

Howard Brown: 00:44:35

at shining brightly com. You can learn about my book. You can

Howard Brown: 00:44:39

learn about my speaking, and hire me to speak, not probably

Howard Brown: 00:44:42

in the next few months, but afterwards. Please hire me to

Howard Brown: 00:44:45

make your event shine. And also this the podcast is there too

Howard Brown: 00:44:50

when it's on 24 channels, on captivate.fm, and I'm really

Howard Brown: 00:44:55

proud of my advocacy work with entrepreneurs from Babson

Howard Brown: 00:44:58

College. Big shout out. Also the cancer world as well, and the

Howard Brown: 00:45:04

interfaith world open to understand the other and learn

Howard Brown: 00:45:08

their cultures and their foods and their histories and be

Howard Brown: 00:45:10

welcoming. We need more of that now. And just remember, Oh, I

Howard Brown: 00:45:16

gotta give a shout out before that to the people that help me

Howard Brown: 00:45:18

all the time. My sponsor so front edge publishing for my

Howard Brown: 00:45:21

book. Read the spirit magazine, where I blog monthly, amplify

Howard Brown: 00:45:24

you, that finishes these podcasts so beautifully it gives

Howard Brown: 00:45:27

me great assets back. Also soul diamond magazine that I'm in

Howard Brown: 00:45:32

monthly that features my stories and the podcast as well, and

Howard Brown: 00:45:36

then also speak inspire and prosper just became a new

Howard Brown: 00:45:40

sponsor. So thank you to all of them, and thank you to the

Howard Brown: 00:45:43

250,000 plus people that download the show and and feel

Howard Brown: 00:45:47

and take action on it. Because one of the things you told me

Howard Brown: 00:45:49

Emily was, positivity is great. Positivity with action is

Howard Brown: 00:45:52

better. And so that's the shining brightly moment. So if

Howard Brown: 00:45:55

we choose to shine brightly just a little bit each day for

Howard Brown: 00:45:58

ourselves first, so then we can thus lift up others. We become a

Howard Brown: 00:46:02

force multiplier for good and change in this world, and we

Howard Brown: 00:46:06

make the world a better place. So again, Emily Brown, my

Howard Brown: 00:46:08

daughter, my love. I'm so proud of you, and thank you for

Howard Brown: 00:46:12

joining me tonight.

Emily Brown: 00:46:13

Thanks for having me.

Howard Brown: 00:46:15

Okay.